A Mom and Her Girl

Mother

2011-05-05T11:38:00.011-04:00

The other day while I was at the hair salon, getting my much needed shameful tongue lashing from my hairstylist as to why I wait so long to get my hair done pep talk. Todd took Morgan out to get my Mother's Day gift. She had been telling me all day long how it is a secret that she was going shopping with Todd to get me something. She also reminded me time and time again that I could not ask her what it was and would end the statement with "alright?" as if I didn't understand, that asking her would result in me not being surprised.
It amazes me as the peak age of four Morgan would have such a motherly personality. Not a day goes by that I hear myself coming out of her mouth. Phrases like "do you really think that is necessary?" "just so you know this is very delicate" or the "aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrhhhhhh" sound of frustration the sigh of anger! She is always reminding me that I should pick up clothes or wash my hands after going to the bathroom. What have I created??
Happy Mother's Day to all you moms who have the most adorable kid(s) like mine!

A year, really?

2011-05-04T11:14:00.005-04:00

It has been quite sometime that I have even attempted to write here, writers block perhaps, or maybe no time. So much has happened in a year, new love, new house, new family, new car, my girl turning 4, wow I need to start writing these things down. Where should I begin how about here like now and then digress as I go, ready? ok here goes................
Currently A Mom and Her Girl is living with A Man and His Boy, oh I feel a title change coming on. We are all adjusting pretty fine, with the what I call normal transitions a blended family could expect I guess or at least what I call normal considering my upbringing. It is so different raising a child when you have a partner, something I am experiencing for the first time.
In a year it has taken me sometime to get used to the fact I have someone who is willing to take care of my girl while I am needing that Mommy down time. In the beginning I was apprehensive to say the least not wanting to take advantage of my new love, but he is more than happy to give up his time to spend time with my girl. They have a bond now one that I hope and know will only grow and I know he will be a great example of how a little girl should be loved.
We have been in our new place for over a year now and it still feels like a new place but with an old feel, it is comfort, it is where we hang our hat along with our clothes, shoes, toys, and stuff. Oh the stuff! It feels like I have been purging for a year with nothing to show but room for no more stuff!! Our home is where love resides with our stuff and that is all that matters to me, I can't imagine where I love to be more.
The wonderful man in my life has earned a nickname as Hot Toddie, or my Todder (as Morgan refers to him). Todd has brought more to my world than I ever thought or expected to have if I ever wished on the brightest star. Besides my lil' girl he brings me a feeling of "love" and self-worth. More on him later.
I guess you can say there is a new spark to start writing again, after a year hiatus this should make for some interesting reading to come.

Back on the Horse

2010-04-29T09:37:00.004-04:00

I need to get back on track. The track I was on before I gained 20 pounds then got pregnant gained another 20 pounds, only to lose 20 then now really want to lose 15 or 20 more to be happy with myself. I can't seem to get back to that place where I would go to the gym, drink lots of water, so much water a fish would be jealous, and be able to walk stairs without being winded. I know I have a toddler and she keeps me busy believe me, but the energy at the end of my day is nill. How can I get back to the mind-set of feeling good about my body? I guess most of the time being a working mom I feel guilty putting aside the extra hour for me at the end of the day because I want to spend it with my daughter. I am not a real early riser so getting into a routine in the morning may not work, nor do I like the idea of working out at the end of the day after I put her to bed. So where do I begin, with what will-power can I give myself that will make me feel good about taking time to get in shape?

Since we last met... (wow that was a long time ago)

2010-02-10T12:40:00.002-05:00

Moving on....I have to keep a positive attitude and remind myself that life as I know it is filled with the littlest blessings. The days when I am spent and at the end of my rope the need to vent off the hardest of times in words can be the best therapy for me. Thank you for the kind words and the continued safety net you people put up for me. You have to know I would do the same for you. This single mom journey is hard at times but is the most fulfilling, I am greatful whatever the day may bring.
The fall brings many things to my mind besides the bitter chilly mornings and early dark nights, it also marks many turning points in my life. It brings a time to reflect of how I got from there to here with a beautiful smart toddler calling me Mom. Morgan will be 3 in a few weeks, where has the time gone. It seems only yesterday the endless trips to the doctors offices trying to conceive for four long years, then bam here she is....then my heart exploded!! All those millions of pieces of my heart are being replaced with the laughter one little girl can make.
The dreams I had of being a family were the practical ones I guess, a family vision something different than my own upbringing. I can't remember ever having my parents living under one roof together. For now this family Morgan and Me is awesome and right now I wouldn't want it any other way!

This post was written some time ago back in the beginning of October, I felt it necessary to let you in on my thoughts before I let you know what has happened since. Little did I know where my life would turn, on that day, the same morning I was writing this entry and left it for future post. I had a lunch date with a friend and a co-worker of hers she thought I would like to meet. Keeping my expectations low and telling myself its just lunch made my world so much brighter than I ever thought it could be. I was happy for the most part not in a hurry to find someone to spend my spare time with after all I had a little girl fawning for much of my attention. But there at lunch across the table from me sat a man with a soul much different than I am used to.

The Number 3!!

2009-10-26T08:41:00.010-04:00

Happy Birthday my sweet baby girl Morgan!! I know if you could read right now you would tell me I not a baby! I'm a big gurl! Yes you are big and I love you to the sun around the earth and moon!!

Big Girl Pants

2009-10-21T09:40:00.000-04:00

Potty training SUCKS....the end.

Not sure what I was thinking would happen, maybe perhaps one day Morgan would get up and say well hey you know the diaper thing just not the way I roll anymore...how about I put on a pair of those cute mermaid panties and we can call it a day. Or we could just go down this long road of wearing pull-ups, convince me every time she will not pee in them until the next time she does. Then I cringe at the fact those pull-ups are a poor excuse for a big girl panty, not to mention sucking the budget down the drain. Who am I fooling it is pains takingly time consuming to get her little butt on the pot. Most signs point to the ready mark but then it points to all fail. As if the sleeping schedule and bottle feeding to holding a fork on her own the past two years wasn't enough now this!
The "big" girl stage has raged its' ugly head and is headed straight for me. My independent head strong little girl has now entered the "i do it myself" part of the game. From clothes to shoes I tread lightly very lightly, because I never know if it is my turn or hers. I will gladly take back the 2 year old stage cause I have a feeling 3 years is gonna be a bitch.

Note to Self

2009-09-25T08:21:00.003-04:00

In a future life if such life exists, think wisely the next time you procreate. Make sure the man with whom you decide to spawn with does not think of only himself and his money. (For all I know there is not such man that would exist). But if there is let him show himself unto the rest of the world and prove to me the reason we need them in the first place.

If it wasn't for the sweet smile of an adorable toddler who loves me all the way up to the sun. I just don't know how I am going to make it through the next fifty years.

Robbery

2009-09-23T08:47:00.011-04:00

I made another attempt to visit the Sears store yesterday after work. This time I called in reinforcements, my good friend and one of my birthing coaches Annettie. I figured if we could tag team the Tasmanian toddler I could find a dress and call it a day. To state for the record I don't normally shop at Sears but I had a gift card that was burning a hole in my already empty wallet and I needed a dress for a wedding this Friday.
We went to a mall that does not have the extra glitz of a two tiered carousel. Lucky for me there were racks upon racks of clearance dresses of all shapes and sizes. I loaded up my arms with a variety of black and white cocktail dresses then headed to the dressing room. All the while Morgan is walking under the rack of dresses claiming she was in the car wash. It drives me nuts when kids are wild in a department store, mine included! I am only beginning to understand why the mothers with the monster children are in the store in the first place. They are all single parents who have no time to themselves and have stuff that needs to be done, if they are anything like me the ears are all on what their child is doing while the eye contact is focused on the clothes rack and the little old lady across the aisle with her mouth agape.
Annette decides she will entertain my cute monstrosity on the escalator while I try on eight different styles of dresses. Just as I am trying on the final dress I hear my child yelling from outside "MOM" "I don't see you", that's the idea kid. Good thing this final dress was the one I choose to purchase because I could tell the crazy was about to unleash in the all ready rambunctious angel. I made my way back to the dress aisle to make a final sweep of choices, when what do my wandering eyes should appear....the shoes! The table a football field long of shoes! ALL.ON.SALE. in my hey day I had more shoes than Pravda(not really but I can dream). Of course a black sling back three inch heal caught my eye for $9.99. Not to forget the undergarments I went there too. By this time Morgan is full steam ahead running up and down the aisles. I remind her that the store is not the playground, but damn if I had the money I would invest in a non-destructible clothing store where children could run wild for a small fee. Imagine the fun the toddlers could have swinging from the round metal racks and wiping their nose against the bottoms of old dresses no-one will buy. The Mom's could all sit around drinking coffee and admire each others shoes!
I make my way to the checkout to notice a small display of accessories, pins, headbands, earrings and such, what the heck I will see how much this cute flower pin is too. As the young girl dressed much more fashionable than me behind the counter rings up my order she scans the tag of my dress already at a ridiculously low price of $24.99 she smiles and says $12.49, "WHA" no way I never get that lucky. My undergarments were also half price and my cute accessories tagged at $9.00 were 99 CENTS! Morgan then looks at me and before she could speak I "ssshhh" her and tell her "not now mommy is robbing Sears"! not really but the prices the cute checkout girl was given me were a STEAL! after I used my gift card of $30 out of pocket I paid $10.43. Gotta love the feeling of a great deal.
We left the store an outfit in hand with accessories and not one mention of a carousel ride! So I let Morgan buy a giant super-ball and throw it around the mall just to get her excitement out!

Should have saved for a meandering day

2009-09-18T09:27:00.007-04:00

Things I have noticed this week......
- I am out of fashion! After spending and hour in the mall the other day, quickly browsing and listening to the meltdown of a toddler every time I entered a store that was not near the carousel or had some sort of child entertainment. I took a quick look at the young girls in the stores wearing what I did when I was 15, really with the skinny jeans and hi-tops. My hips would never get away with that look now a days. Then I took a glance in the mirror and thought oui what have I become. I have not shopped for myself in so long I don't even know where to begin putting pieces together for a new wardrobe(not that I could afford one right now). Still I can not focus, who brought that annoying beast of a child in this store who sounds like a broken record "I WANNA GO ON THE CAROUSEL" over and over again?? OH yeah that would be mine I recognize the blonde hair but not the face buried into the rug below the shiny ruffled tops.
- Enough with the roots already! My hair is in desperate need of scissors and bleach or some sort of hair color. Honestly I can not remember the last time I had it done. Last week I liked the longer look but today it's gotta go! If it wasn't for the grey throwing off the highlights my roots are a good two and a half inches long. Something has to be done before I pull a Britney!
- Life is short! I attended a funeral yesterday in support of a friend who lost her sister in-law to soon. The young mother of two(10yr & 3yr) was only 32 years old. As I sat and listened to the service I longed to run home and squeeze Morgan, knowing time is precious and we don't get to choose our time to leave we can only cherish the time we have.
- Five day work weeks are hard! This was the first full week of work since January. I go back to four days next week. As much as I miss the pay I enjoy the time with my baby (I mean big girl) more.
- Never take a potty training toddler out to dinner by yourself! I had a taste for a steak the other day, so I decided on the place with the peanuts. Thought it would be a nice distraction for a toddler to peel her own peanuts and teach her to throw the shells on the floor. My thought proved to be a 15 min time killer until she had to go PEE. We made our way to the public bathroom which I cringe because it is hard enough for me to hover over the seat let alone try to hold a squirming toddler. We made it out alive. Our dinner came and she had to PEE again. I assured our waitress we were not trying to dine and dash and not to clear our table, she just laughed. Two trips to the public bathroom, still alive. What a pain in the ass to have to carry your purse, secure your table and take a 10 minute potty break!

About Last Night

2009-09-10T11:45:00.009-04:00

This may sound as if I don't love every minute I spend with my darling daughter. Let me assure you I would give my last dying breathe for that child of mine. There comes a time in a single parents life when holy begeezious you just need a break from the mundane routine of it all.

Last night my more than generous in-laws, who I never broke up with since the divorce, took Morgan for the night. I did not realize until I got home from a couple stores that I leisurely strolled through, stopping to smell new shoes and notice over priced sales tags. I got home sat on the couch flipped on the TV banned all shows that involve music and learning, switched to the free on demand movies. Made a trip to the bedroom to find my cozy pants, a comfortable pillow, and Breaking Dawn. Before I opened my dinner, a bag of White Castle. I called to check in on Morgan who had informed me that she had not cried about me and was running for the door to get her last ride on the golf cart for the night with her Grandpa. I proceeded to watch Made of Honor, which was a cute funny chic flick just perfect for my night alone! It was 6pm the night was young and I was on my couch eating food without worrying if anything would drop on the floor, not being beckoned to the play room to make supper, there was not one demand to turn on Dora and get another juice. There was only me, my remote, a book and the comfort of home.

Only thing was I had to take a Tylenol PM to get to sleep because I missed the little princess so much, my mind kept wondering if she was ok. I knew she was but my mothering instinct would not shut off, something tells me it never will. Once the sleep came I didn't know I really needed it until this morning when I woke to my alarm and felt refreshed for the day, rejuvenated to start over again. This parenting job is tough, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Like a Flick on the Head

2009-08-20T15:18:00.001-04:00

There really is a million excuses why I don't update here on a regular basis, but rest assure I have every intention to do so in a minute. With today's technology of Facebook, DVR, and text messaging my world completely turns every so often I get hooked into one thing only then oh look something shiny...... my point I guess is I am not good a multi-tasking as I once thought I was. It could be an early sign of dementia or old age woman set in her ways only the ways change and I get over obsessed with the task at hand that I completely forget what I did yesterday. Good thing Morgan doesn't need a bottle anymore the kid would starve, how was it I remembered feeding schedules, bowel movements and bath time in the early parenting years? Just a short 24 months later I can't remember if I have given her the four basic food groups, or is it five. Can someone hand me a fresh pen and a stack of post-it notes.
Summer has been one fun filled weekend after another. Just when I thought I could rest and enjoy the day at home we get invited to another party, the zoo, a pool, or a lunch with friends. I can't say we don't do anything because we are always doing something. I looked at the calendar yesterday and wouldn't you know it August is here and almost over. As much as I would like to say bummer I am kinda glad we will be back in a routine. Not that we will be given up our social life but we will have to decline some of the endless road trips for a night on the couch to watch Dancing With the Stars.
Morgan has really enjoyed this summer, as did I. I didn't feel like a walking baby carrying machine that every five seconds was removing something from a baby's mouth or inserting something healthy in the baby's mouth. I wasn't the mom barrelling behind a small infant hell bent on smashing her face into sharp objects or falling into a hole. This summer I was the mom who could relax a bit tip back a couple beers, watch every ones reaction when my toddler did what toddlers do, jump off stairs, hang from whatever piece of furniture would hold her tiny frame, run while inevitably stubbing a toe. I know her limits and what she is capable of and was there to brush off the ultimate fail, all part of growing up. Morgan went from riding a tricycle in the beginning of June to a two wheeler (with training wheels) by July.
Not sure where the time has gone if I stop and try to think about it I can't remember. It really does go by so fast, so fast that it makes me look at my girl with amazement the vocabulary that falls out of her mouth down to her actions on her face all photographed in my mind because there is no camera fast enough to take these pictures.

This too shall pass

2009-08-07T12:13:00.007-04:00

Yesterday evening I had a night to myself a whole four hours before bed to chill. After no potential dates with men willing to swoon over me with large amounts of adult beverages and or sushi. I planned to sit at home with a beer to chill and do what ever I wanted. That's just what I did after making the quickest trip to Meijer ever, returned bottles, grab an iced tea, cashed out my $7, headed to the gas station to put my last $7 for the week in the tank to get to work in the morning, all this and not a single child asked me to ride the electric pony or buy a frozen coke.
Funny thing is one would think with four hours there is alot you could do, paint toe nails, write a post on the blog, catch a movie, read a book, do house work, etc., etc. So what I did is plant my butt in front of the computer and download and upload pictures I have been meaning to for the last year with a beer, that translates into absolutely NOTHING. Then when my sister came home the only light was the one shining from the computer monitor. She asked me how long I had been parked in that position, I gave her a death look stare and told her the "SSSSHHH" for the last three hours there has been nothing but the occasional blower of the a/c humming in the basement and I had forgotten what that sound was like. She then walked around the house turning on lights, starting laundry, folding clothes, putting away dishes, and cussing as if no one does anything around the house. I then mentioned my toilet was plugged up and asked if she could take care of it, which sent her in a search, the same search I had taken a few hours before, for a plunger we no longer owned. As of right now the toilet is still yelling for a plunger which I have remind my sister to pick up on the way home.
My day at work has been the longest ever and if I didn't need to pay my bills so bad I would pack it up and grab my baby, go home and do something productive. Get this weekend started cause I need a nap.

Mothering Instinct

2009-07-28T12:00:00.004-04:00

My cold has almost subsided if you don't listen to me talk, cough, or walk for that matter you would never know I still had mucus filled in left side of my head. If I move to quickly my equilibrium is thrown off and even a two year old can knock me on my ass. Last night I thought after I put Morgan down to sleep I could take the NyQuil my sister had hidden under her bed and get a good nights rest. Only when I put Morgan down for the night (and what I thought was asleep) she feels the need to get up and roam the house until she finds me so she can intertwine her limbs around my neck and spine. This is nice for about fifteen minutes until she falls asleep again leaving me with ten inches of a queen size bed and hanging on the edge so as not to fall to my death in my sleep. Then starts the pins and needle feeling in the right side of my body because the leg I have positioned to hold me and a 28 pound child up for the night is about to give way from the loss of blood supply.
Before you judge me on the sleeping habits, I know me the parent, has created let's take a look at what I would miss if I don't give myself the opportunity to lay down with my child for the night.....
My daughter has an array of stuffed toys, a few play coins, a couple animal figurines, a favorite blanket, and a hand full of "yellow" balls that accompany her in the big girl bed every night. There is an inventory taken almost every night to make sure she isn't missing anyone, by that I mean fellow stuffed toys named George in three different sizes, and then she takes the time to put everyone on their bellies to sleep. Then she will turn to me and say "see you in the morning". Cute, no? Most nights it is others not so much. Like the nights she will rearrange for more than ten minutes and I ended up getting knocked in the head with a baton that somehow appears from under the covers, then I usually throw my hands in the air while yelling "abort""abort" I am going to my own bed "PEACE OUT"!
The nights I love the most are the "Mom, I Love You" nights where Morgan will remind me of how much she loves me, and I can hear myself through her mouth when she whispers "your my favorite" and she closes her eyes and drifts asleep, and the smells of her hair below my nose makes me stay in the comfort of her choke hold and I can't imagine a better place to be.
I realize I am missing out on many prime time television shows or movies and the time to myself that I need to unwind, update this blog, paint my toe nails, take a hot bubble bath, write a thank you note, start a new addiction like twitter or hey here's one I haven't done in awhile read a book! These things I am taking away from myself to invest in a nurturing environment to share with my one and only child.

So I'm a Slacker

2009-07-02T22:21:00.005-04:00

I think of this blog each and every day I honestly do, but the man been putting the axe down at work since we are slow like everyone else and I have been makin myself busy earning my keep. Because it has been so slow at work I decided to take a vacation. Yes a vacation like away from the city, away from the menotiny of life. In fact I am pulling all stops and previous plans to hitch a ride with my Auntie to the northern part of Michigan they call Indian River tomorrow, to a place we in the family call the cottage. I want to apologize in advance to anyone who may have expected me to be at their party and partaking in the consumption of beer and food. Opportunity to travel without making a five hour trip alone with a toddler who at some point will become irratiable or irrational blurting GET ME OUT at some point makes my vacation seem more like vacation rather than me jumping in the lake or off a bridge by the time we get there. Not to mention the savings in gas and quality time spent talking about the wonderful drinks we will prepare once we are on the dock sunbathing.

I can't remember the last time I made it to the cottage for family time but I am looking forward to it. Morgan has never been to the cottage, or out on a pontoon ride, or to Spanky's for ice cream. That is what I am most looking forward to, new memories and experiences my girl will grow to know.

UP North here we come!!

Oh and a couple of pictures of Morgan enjoying the fireworks last weekend in The Clem, in case you forgot how cute she is, she loved every minute.

Top of the Morning

2009-06-11T08:33:00.004-04:00

I have decided to keep eating baby carrots, with my wicked eye sight I can stare the cancer away....great advice Diva! I can sleep better tonight.
Speaking of sleep last night for six hours I slept in my own bed by myself without the comfort of a foot in my back or a finger up my nose. Although today is overcast my body feels rested and ready to work right after I finish my coffee.
On the way to work I nearly hit a man riding a bike on a semi-urban road. I was getting ready to turn right and was waiting for traffic to clear on my left as I stopped at a red light, when I went to proceed HELLO there he was man on bike right in front of me!! Who in the world rides there bike for exercise at 6:50AM?? He was kind enough to yell Good Morning and not some profane choice of words as I nearly creamed his ass to the curb.
So far it seems my troubles of yesterday just needed a good rest, thank goodness I ate those carrots for lunch.

One Hot Bath and a Beer Stat!

2009-06-10T10:21:00.005-04:00

This may come as a surprise to some of you but I can become irritable and cranky!! Today is one of those days. I am fed up and at the end of my rope, hands in the air, walk away, count to ten, don't look at me that way.
Things like the annoying glob of mucus that has been in my throat for over a week have contributed to this persistent thermostat that is ready to explode! Given the fact I have not slept a full night in over a week could be a factor. A 36 inch blonde hair blue eyed toddler who looks innocent enough has refused to sleep in her own bed the last four nights. The same toddler who is mocking the same cold symptoms I have and whines enough for the both of us.
At work I have an annoying employee who doesn't remember what he did ten days ago important information I need to process invoicing, same employee has been hanging out in the office looking at the same job tickets for an hour, and now can't remember his name. Being particular of the way I file, the job tickets the shuffling of paper in the next room is enough to make my eye start to twitch.
Oh look a text message from SD, his doctor thinks he may have a bleeding ulcer. Moving on.
My daycare provider has warned me about baby cut carrots and the fact they use chlorine to wash the little buggers thus may cause cancer. Snopes tells me part true and false but can not completely define the answer. Your not going to guess what I have in my lunch, oh you did guess a bag of baby carrots.
Ok I have to stop typing my left shoulder is feeling a little heavy it could be the devil and who knows what he has up his sleeve.

My head hurts

2009-06-05T09:01:00.007-04:00

I woke up this morning with a pounding headache and gasping for breath because the mutated snot bug had taken over all parts of my upper respiratory, making it difficult to breath through my mouth or nose. I lay in bed trying to gain enough strength to get up to take a hot shower. Morgan had crawled into my bed at God knows when hour and had entwined her limbs around my neck and hair so every time I tried to move her body she would show signs of waking. If I wanted to get into the shower long enough to clear my head I had to remove her methodically so she stayed asleep. Then that attempt was a total FAIL. I eventually got her on the couch with a cold cup of milk to watch the four thousandth episode of Dora.
We eventually made it out of the house moving ever so slowly and forgetting where I put things and went back and forth in my mind should I stay home or go to work. Since money is tight work won. Morgan is spending the day with SD which is good for me because I am forcing him to keep her longer than the work day so I can go home to put on laundry and nap. Nap may just trump laundry cause laundry is a bitch and it never ends.
This next part I have to tell you about is not for the animal sensitive heart. I pulled into work this morning and not one but two black kittens had been run over and left for dead in our parking lot at work. I am only guessing that the guys from next door and their work trucks are to blame because they have nearly run me down and haven't thought twice about it. Poor kittens didn't have a chance.
Now if you will excuse me I have to go take more drugs to help relieve the pain behind my eyes. I hope there isn't a waiting period to buy more OTC drugs. A few months ago when I purchased a decongestant the pharmacy took a copy of my ID and threatened to take my first born if I tried to sell it to the teenager waiting outside?! What is this world coming to takes only a hand full of people to ruin it for all of us.

Benders are not for single parents of small children

2009-05-26T11:12:00.008-04:00

It has taken me this long to regain consciousness of my life after spending most of my time with a cocktail in my hand since late Friday night. I guess you could say this is your run down of my Memorial Day weekend festivities. WOO-WHO good times!
Morgan went to spend some time with her Dad on Friday night while I prepared for my house warming party. I took a trip to the Meijer purchased large amounts of adult beverages and calorie fat filled snacks in anticipation of many friends coming by to say hello. I like parties just not at my house the preparation and worry if there is enough food, pop, mustard, and toilet paper kills me. After the fruit was cut up and the house vacuumed I got a phone call from SD in a panic that Morgan would not stop crying for me. She wanted her Mommie and who could blame her. It took the last bit of energy I had to hold myself back from getting in the car to save her from nothing but a sleep deprived day. SD agreed that if she wasn't asleep soon that I could expect a knock on the door with a note attached to one pissed off toddler demanding her mother never subject her to more than 10 hours with her father again. Which did not happen but I prepared for it and drank a couple beers to take the edge off.
Saturday went really well I had early visitors(Pankiewicz) that failed to recognize the time the party started but we welcomed them any way. They helped prepare the veggie tray and there was a last run to the store for some condensed milk. Thanks! Morgan got home in time for a bath and nap before party time. Mostly family showed up which meant I started drinking early to take the edge off, and when only three of my friends showed up it meant I drank 85 oz of the 96 oz bucket of margarita that had been chilled in the freezer since Thursday. There was 3ft of the 6ft sub leftover and 45 of the 48 cans of beer. As my brother and sister in law left I loaded their car with the extras for my sister in laws birthday party that would happen the next day on Sunday afternoon.
My sister in laws party was alot of fun. I talked(bribed her with a bag of suckers)Morgan into going with my Aunt for the night so I could relax and finish the 45 cans of beer. We played cards and I won a few bucks, did a few shots, and stayed up to late. What makes me think I am immune to the aftermath of to much alcohol and a good time I will never know.
The next morning I failed miserably to any responsibilities of being a parent and didn't call to check on my girl until 10:02am. At that time she had transformed into wanting her Momma into not wanting to go home because of all the activities and sugary snacks thrown at her in such a short span of time. The home where she had been staying did not require shoes or clothing except for a diaper and it had a slip and slide!! My house pails in comparison.
The weekend was perfect despite the less than desirable crowd to my open house. We couldn't have asked for better weather or more food and drink. The laughs were many! and the time to relax in our cozy clothes after it was all said and done is priceless.

Love is...

2009-05-21T10:00:00.003-04:00

Nothing says love quite like a 96 ounce bucket of Margarita Mix found on your front porch with four fun tumblers ready to be filled!!! K I love you, too.

Party starts in two days if your in the area stop on by.

No Whining

2009-05-15T11:26:00.012-04:00

How can a word be so pleasant and ear numbing at the same time??? When I typed this title I thought of wine as in the liquid sense but to whine as in the pain in the ass sound a toddler makes has a totally different meaning one bitter and sweet, the other bitter and relaxing, but same side effects both leave you looking for the Tylenol because ai-ya-ya-i my head is killing me. Not so different??? Am I just rambling or is this making sense?
The other day marked my first day of literally locking myself into the bathroom to apply my make-up so as not to have a toddler pulling on my pant leg begging to hold her for no apparent reason just cause I want you. Yeah well I want you too but I want you to go play with the millions of toys that are collecting dust in the 300 sq foot toy room built just for you. Take that! the door will not open until your full out I WANT YOU tantrum turns into a whimper of "I not crying no more", cause who can resist a small child fully spent with tears, sweaty from the adrenaline rush to the quiver of the bottom lip "I sorry" face.??
Morgan and I have come to the point in our relationship where we have same views at different times. There is no compromise unless I feel the need to give in for the sake of wanting to reach into the cupboard drawer and pull out the duck tape or NyQuil. But I love her ALOT and would give anything for her happiness.
Oh the joys of child rearing no one can quite prepare you for it, you can read all the self-help books in the library but until you are standing in it you can't quite grasp the concept it holds.
I wonder being in a two parent home is it easier or harder??
Most days I am good with my decision making skills others I totally suck and I have no one to blame but myself. For the most part I try to reason with my two and a half year old which most times are Fail.....(but she said she understood so why is she doing it Ahhhhgain.) There are times at the end of a day I am just spent, worn out from explaining myself for the millionth time that day. I can't just hand over the responsibility hop in the car and race to the nearest Target for retail therapy. Six out of seven days a week it is just me and not to sound like I am tooting my own horn, night and day carrying the trials and tribulations of raising a tiny human and working full-time. When 10 o'clock rolls around you put your feet on the coffee table you have told your little one to stop standing on, banging on, hanging on all day, to be asleep before the opening credits of a prime-time show. Then I stop and think if I had a partner to tag team it would be so much more fun, but would it feel as rewarding? I do get breaks, over night stays when my daughter goes with her father or family but over indulging in that break causes chaos the next day if your not careful. Tending to a toddler on a hangover without support makes for a very.long.day. trust me on this one and you won't read that in any parenting book!
I am waiting for the day when my daughter turns to me to say Mom how did you ever do it?? Damn you were so good! and to leave me screaming outside that bathroom door for a whole two minutes has really made a difference in my life. I am not always going to get my way but to know you are there to comfort me when the frustration is over is worth more than any comfort of a bottle of wine.

For the Love of Mom

2009-05-08T12:24:00.005-04:00

The last few mornings while getting ready for work I turn on the TV instead of watching the news about swine flu I have turned to CMT for my morning listening. Someone oughta call them up and tell them to put their videos on shuffle because the last few mornings I have been compled to watch a Taylor Swift video with a song she wrote for her Mom and it has brought me to tears every.single.time! The video shows home movies of a TS childhood and the cute voice of a toddler telling her Momma thank you for commenting on her piggy tails in her hair. It makes me turn to the love of my life Morgan with tears of joy over her thanking me for telling her she is a big girl.
I don't know what has come over me lately I have this over pouring of emotions built up inside of me. If I didn't know better I would think I was pregnant or had just given birth. Is there medication they can give to stop this insane need to cry over a toddler thanking her mother for pouring the best bowl of cheerios she ever had??
Or it could be the time of year I ponder what my relationship would have been if I had my own Mother been in my life the last 13 years. She is out there and I have often thought of her and what I would say given the opportunity to forgive her actions in the past. I have grown spiritually in the last three years to know that it is not for my to judge or condemn her for the hurt that was brought to my family. It is sometimes easier to ignore than to face the fact it happened. In my mind I am slowly building that bridge of forgiveness that will ultimately be for my own good. Will it change the past, no, but I know I am OK for what happened to me and reward myself to have overcome the obstacle.
As I look at my beautiful daughter so proud of her little accomplishments I envision her world will be so different than the one I grew up in. How lucky I am to have been given this gift of motherhood to bestow the love I never had in my own relationship with my mother. Not that I don't have women in my life I look up to or trust as a mother. Those women know who they are and my life is so much more rich with them in it. Their hope in me gives me strength to be the Mother I am to my girl. A gift Morgan already carries with her and shows at such a young age.
To all the Mothers out there who give their all to the little ones and big ones in their life, YOU are awesome people and for without you there would not be LOVE in the world.

Go fly a Kite

2009-05-05T21:29:00.014-04:00

A few weeks ago we were invited by my good friend dr. Bray to a kite flying event. The day seemed made for kite flying, wind gusts of 40+ seemed like perfect weather to take a two year old and her dollar store kite for a whirl. It seems the whole city of C-Twp was there to par-take in the activities of food, music, pet a goat, ride a train, and hang out in the vehicles of law enforcement. A great time was had by all, thanks dr.Bray and family. (dr.Bray you have permission to take your adorable photo of you and your son from this site) Oh did I mention the thunderstorm that rolled in and we made it to the car before the monsoon let loose. But enough about that let's entertain you with pictures shall we?? that and I am about tired it is all I can give you at the moment. What I didn't capture was the kite wrapped around the fence, or my girl finding a mud hole and running in through it not once but three times, also did I mention her future baseball skills sliding chest first on the baseball diamond......I have a tom-boy on my hands tiaras are for princesses, as Morgan would say I not a princess I a BIG girl.

One of these things is not like the other

2009-04-30T11:19:00.006-04:00

Yesterday during my daily read of the handful of blogs that keep me entertained. I came across this Evenflo X Sport Convertible Stroller. Innocent as the ad may seem, I scrolled down to read the comments but then the Frequently Bought Together section is what caught my eye........are there parents out there on to something I don't know about???? you be the judge.

Pretty Feet?

2009-04-29T14:08:00.007-04:00

Whew that was a long break, good thing I didn't ask you to hold your breathe until I came back. I wouldn't have anyone reading the filters in my mind. Let's get back to business here and fill you in on a piece of the day in the current life of a Mom and Her Girl.
A few weeks back just after my move was complete and boxes were still in the un-packing stages my sister in-law opened her new endeavor, LUV Pedicures. It could not come at a better time because my feet needed to be un-thawed from the hellish winter we have endured here in Michigan, not to mention I needed down time to re-group my thoughts on my new life. Then once I started to think about it I couldn't wait to get busy again because damn I have been through alot of shit the last three years! But the pedi and mani was awesome and if you ever get the chance to treat yourself to something nice I recommend going to LUV not just because we are family, but because it is a classie operation and your feet enjoy an array of techno-color lights while they soak, the feet will thank you for it trust me, and the price is reasonable.
One thing your feet won't thank you for is walking for six hours in cute open toed sandals with a wedge heal to show off the overexposed in south beach color!!
Since I have Mondays off and the weather is turning warmer we ventured out of our new condo to take in the sun, and the 75mph winds. The plan was to go to the zoo, have a picnic lunch, take in the smell of 100 plus animals feces and go home. I had called my brother wondering if him and my nephew would like to join us and he had his own plan to take in the Ford Truck plant tour. Together we devised our plans to take in both activities with kids in tow. The day went great my nephew got his fill of real live trucks being assembled and my girl got to see a couple turtles, the back side of a polar bear and take a walk through a mud puddle in her new sandals!
On the way home I decided to remove the sandals or should I say shackles of hell to unleash the pain that developed under my second from big toe, not just on one foot but both feet. I was afraid to look or touch for fear that my toes would break off of the pure thought of it. By the time I had pulled into my garage the only thing left to walk on were the heals of my feet. Have you ever tried to remove a tired toddler from their car-seat on the heals of your feet? let me tell ya it is like wrestling a small hungry bangle tiger out of a tree while standing on a three legged step stool. I eventually unloaded the car and got into the house safely and was able to soak my feet. Two days later I am still in pain and the blisters look like two eye balls on the bottom of my feet.
Let this be a lesson to all you ladies out there who are anxious to show off those toes, if your Overexposed in South Beach make sure it is bare foot, or at least sensible shoes!

New Zip Code

2009-04-06T05:58:00.002-04:00

We are here, we are here, we are here!! The photos I am about to show you were the morning before the big move in, the place has changed considerably with furniture, photos, clothes, and food. It has been just over a week since we have been here and each night feels cozier than the night before. Morgan had two melt downs earlier this week demanding to go home and that she no longer wanted to be at the condo. No matter how I tried to explain to her we live at the condo now she needed more. It wasn't until I took her to the old house that has been gutted and left for dead with more than a few SD belongings(left behind by him not me), that she decided it was best to live at the condo that had furniture and wasn't as messy as the house she once lived in and there were toys and a big girl bed. We continue to settle in and get used to the new sounds a different place makes and the fact that we have neighbors on the other side of the wall and not 5 acres away it is becoming home and I love it. A few more refreshing changes, the grocery store is two miles away, a gallon of milk is at the corner, the tap water doesn't taste like sulfur, and the heat............the heat is natural gas and does not require a fill every two weeks along with a scraping my lower gut and wallet!

Morgan's bedroomstanding in the living room looking into the kitchenhallway looking into the toy room, stairs to the basement on the right

my bedroom where I slept one night on the floorthe cute kitchen looking into the front room

the front room with a beautiful view of the open backyard and deck

SUN

2009-03-31T11:32:00.002-04:00

I think Morgan said it best this morning, "Momma look the sun came out." Followed by "OH I am so proud of you sun."

Our weekend was eventful, the move went well no one got hurt. The big stuff was moved out and in within 3 hours, the un-packing and organizing has taken up most of my life. On more than one occasion I thought I have to much shit. I wish I could give you more but my mind is exhausted after searching all weekend for my cookie sheets only to find them yesterday in the back of my closet.

So here's to the sun keep shining so I can eventually open a window to clear the rest of the dust that hasn't settled yet.

Monday Meandering #22

2009-03-23T06:20:00.003-04:00

Let me begin by telling you moving sucks! The End.

Why do people accumulate so much stuff?? stuff you use, stuff you don't, stuff that makes the house look homey, stuff that makes an apple peel easier, stuff you smell, stuff to read, stuff in drawers, stuff that fills your walk in closet, stuff you build, stuff that has been in a box since the day you moved in is still in the same box to move out! It is an overwhelming feeling to sit in so much stuff! Let me tell you I started to purge the stuff, but then the thought of a whole house of stuff having to be defined as keep, toss, or donate proved to be to much thinking on my part. Needless to say most of the stuff got tossed in a box anyway to be determined at a later date.

With that said I have moved a considerable amount of stuff to my new condo this weekend. I got my keys to the palace on Saturday and wasted no time loading up 2 cars and my Jeep and started pushing in the stuff through every opening I could find. How come it takes more time to load a vehicle than unload a vehicle and when you bring in the stuff it doesn't look like you moved in much?

Next weekend will be a final farewell to a home I have stayed in longer than any other in my lifetime. When I was young we moved often so I can adjust to change fairly quickly and welcome the new feel. Over the years I have learned it is not the roof over your head but the comfort in your heart that makes the place a home.

The home I am leaving feels like a place of bad choices and overwhelming responsibility. Over the last 3 years it has lost its luster of promises and happily ever after. That is not to say it is not chalked full of good times and fond memories. It will be remembered as the home my daughter was first brought home to, a place where she took her first steps. A great many family parties room for everyone to be in one place at one time. The basement with seven televisions and wicked surround sound that was built in 35 days. Girly nights and spilled wine. Quiet afternoons gardening, the never ending weeds. The admiration of a fresh cut lawn or the view of the stars. The experience has made me who I am today and will hopefully shape my character of tomorrow.

Hope has come in the form of change to a new beginning at a place I know feels like home. I look forward to more great times spent where my heart will pour out into my stuff that I surround myself in. I look forward to the laughter of good times my daughter will bring as we share new memories together in our condo.

I don't want to forget to mention my good friend dr. Bray her mother is my new landlord with our her giving me this opportunity to stay at her beautiful condo, I don't think I would have felt so much at home. I know she will be over to share in my joy as we share cocktails on a summer afternoon off the deck. Thank You Diane because of people like you in the world it is a much better place.

Some Kind of Wonderful

2009-03-10T21:35:00.009-04:00

Tonight I was overcome by the Mother I have become. In just two plus years I have raised this tiny person of whom I would give my last breath. Everyday it amazes me the knowledge Morgan has already absorbed yet is never full. She can show many emotions and understands if I am sad and knows how to replenish my joy. My daughter is a never ending gift of love, full of the strongest hugs, and the sweetest voice as I lay her to sleep she can instantly melt my heart, when she tells me goodnight Mom. Before bed she asks me to sing her a lullaby, a familiar song that I have sang to her since she was born and the only song that would calm her on long car rides.

Tonight I held my baby girl a little longer than usual rocking her and listening to her breathe upon my chest. I thanked God for giving me this opportunity to raise a gift only He could have brought to this earth. It is a blessing to have a warm house, with basic necessities, and more than what we really need. He has given me the arms to warp around this little one that will one day over fill. Thank you for giving me the extra time tonight to hold Morgan peacefully and reflect on the blessings in my life.

Tonight I had a overwhelming feeling of peace that I am going to be ok, we are going to be ok. I am not alone because as I held my baby girl I felt a warmth around me of His presence. In my heart the relationships of family and friends that have grown out of my experience into single Motherhood that continue to grow.

Tonight instead of feeling alone I feel more collective.

Monday Meandering #21

2009-03-09T05:00:00.001-04:00

There is this fine line of a talking toddler who understands what you are saying and talking toddler who is selective in what you are trying to say. Lately Morgan has become this tiny human who understands she is whining like a baby who needs juuuice momma juuuuciy momma in the Mickey Mouse cup with the blue top not the cute Minnie Mouse cup with the pink top. Perhaps maybe my respond time is on a different timer than hers, no wait it is on a different timer mine works at a 36 yr old level hers is 2.6 yr old level much faster. I find myself telling her just a minute alot to which she will repeat her request but only at an irritating higher pitch whine than before. In my mind my voice turns to her to say "There is no Mommie only Zuul"! and she is content to wait until Mommie has a second because whoa that is a wicked voice and you just grew horns. But that doesn't really happen so as calm as I can be, I look her in the face to reply until you ask like a big girl who doesn't whine you will get your juice and use the majic words. Then she gets this little curled bottom lip thing going and says please and clearly announces what she wanted in the first place. Then blame it on my eagerness to please I frantically search the house for the Mickey Mouse cup with the blue lid so the child will remain calm. Up until she wants a snack of dried pasta noodles not the bow tie the elbows, in a red cup! ugh. I know this stage will too be short lived just like the first 6 months without sleep, both make a mothers mind think things you never did before, like locking yourself in the closet. The next phase which WAIT don't tell me I want to be totally surprised, that and I don't have the time to look up tricks to tame a chimpanzee.

Moving day is only 20 short days away and I am no closer to packing than I was last Monday and I am not the least bit worried about it. I am sitting here looking at a pile of toys and mindless clutter of an address book that has more pieces of paper sticking out of it than pages in the actual book, I blame that on my family upbringing, my Grandmother has an industrial sized rubber band keeping her address book together. And that is just on my desktop! However I do have more than a dozen boxes packed sitting in my kitchen with what else kitchen stuff ready to go. I do plan to get more done tomorrow when the sun returns, the gloom of the day really makes me lazy.

I am still off on Mondays from work, my paycheck reflects the crappy end of it, while the sleeping in and not having to deal with the manic Mondays is the joyful side. I am still hoping to get back to a full work week sooner than later. I may just be packing up the truck and knocking on the door at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave and checking into a room there. Then will see how quickly the stimulus package gets this economy moving after listening to my girl all day ask for more juice!

The mind of My two year old

2009-03-04T11:52:00.002-05:00

It perplexes me yet it is so simple the minds of babes. In conversation over a sippy cup of milk this morning while laying in bed, me trying to determine what turtleneck I was going to squeeze my freezing body into, and listening to the dog BARK. Morgan looked at me as I sighed in discuss to the barking, always barking, barking at we don't know what DOG.
me - *hard sigh* why dog, what can you possibly be barking at it is 5:30 in the morning!
morgan - Cujo barking
me - yeah baby she is, what do you think she is barking at?
morgan - the water
me - your probably right, does that make her crazy?
morgan - makes Mommy crazy

HORTON

2009-02-27T08:41:00.009-05:00

Can you hear it, feel it, taste it, smell it??? I took a peek at my calendar for next month and right there, right on the 20th of March is a promise of Spring!! YES Spring the time of year to start a new! And wouldn't you know it only eight days after the beginning of Spring I will be moving into a new place to start a new OH the irony! I know what your thinking she is smoking something over there cause she just posted two days in a row and now this!!

Has anyone seen Horton Hears a Who? The movie I had to put a stop to cause I can only take so much Who's cause the noise, noise, noise(insert vision of The Grinch with the dizzy eyes and the drums beating over his head)......for five weeks straight chattering in your ear while your daughter watches the movie from the backseat of the car, will put anyone in a loony bin, or make me compare the notion of Spring.The scene that makes me laugh goes something like this one of the animals in the jungle is carrying around a clover with a make believe world and the animal says...."My world is magical and beautiful, we eat rainbows and poop butterflies" and Horton replies "that's wonderful in an odd sort of way""uh-ha"

Now that I think of it the anticipation of Spring is kinda like Horton Hears a Who, I know it is there some of us don't and until it screams " WE ARE HERE!!" no one is going to believe it.
If you haven't watched the movie I suggest you go rent it, it really is fun some adult humor too. I won't be ruining it for you if I tell you there is a boob reference more than once, if you like that sort of thing, and the only reason I would have picked up on it is because my brother mentioned it. That and the thought of 96 daughters and one son sharing one bathroom made me giggle a little. Oh that Dr. Seuss he really knows how to entertain.
Oh and I hope you enjoy the new header it makes me feel warm, hope it brings you the same.

Out like a Lion, In like a Lamb?

2009-02-26T13:43:00.003-05:00

At least I think that is the expression one uses to define Spring and Winter, or the likes of the blog postings around here. Let's just forget about what's been going on for months and get to what is going on today.

(sound of crickets fills the air)

I have been hit with the wicked cold bug that everyone seems to be getting these days. The pressure my head is able to with-hold is set on warning extremely high. I am almost certain it will burst at any moment given the amount of pain in my ears and behind my eyes.
Morgan still has the same type of cold minus the amount of pressure she can sense going on in her head given how long she can resume whining longer than I can resume listening. Why do toddlers whine in pain when they don't get the right color sippy cup of milk?? or when they don't like the choice of pants for the day?? or the size of banana slice you put on their plate, only to find out they wanted the whole banana?? Oh yes the patience of parenthood be it ever so humble grant me strength so as not to hide in a closet or an underground storage area until this age of self independence and choice has passed.
In other news I just purchased a new pair of wicked bowling shoes I hope they get here before the end of the bowling season. The shoes I have been sportin' have taken on a certain smell and just don't slide like they used to. If the shoes don't improve my game at least they will improve my look and the need to place an odor eater inside my bowling bag.
The weather is a balmy 4o+ degrees today which makes it feel a bit more spring like around here. Spring is just tip-toeing in the great State of Michigan, nice to see it can get warm even if it is only 40 degrees warm.
I just started reading a book my imaginary friend suggested. I like to say I just can't put it down, which in part is true for the past 3 nights I have woke at 2am to find it still in the clutches of my hands only it is still on page 6 and laying face down on my chest. The cold medicine has this effect on me that when taken in large amounts I pass right out.

Monday Meanderings #20

2009-02-09T07:00:00.004-05:00

Who is counting anyway?? My weekends have been longer seeing that I currently have Mondays off, to which I have no excuse to have a more up to date meandering posted here. Looks like the only person beating myself up about it is me. So self quit be so damn hard on yourself, yes I talk in third person now that facebook has come along. When ever I go to change my status the default is set to say Michelle is... it makes me pause and think what I am really doing is wasting my life away connecting to people who I never really connected with in 20 years and yet I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame. Really I should be spending time with all of you the ones who embrace my life and want to know more of it and your not required to throw me any beads or take care of my sea garden or lil green patch(unless you have the tools to do so).

Last week I was at a cross roads of decisions I would make as to where I am going to live in eight weeks, yes eight short weeks, to pack eight long years of living under one roof. Well I am happy to say I have found my new humble abode! Even though it is only 20 minutes closer to work it is the best offer I found and think it is a step in the right direction. My good friend dr.Bray not only was she there for me when I needed help in my early months of motherhood returning to work, watching Morgan for me, her Mom has offered her condo to me for the next 12 months or longer depending on how well of a renter I am and how well she is as a landlord. The condo is beautiful and big and requires less money to warm the place to which I am more than thrilled! More details will come and movers will be needed and pop, beer and pizza will be provided. I am excited to be moving on but dread the packing and rearranging it requires. Needless to say I have had more rest in the last two nights than I have in awhile. For once I feel I am making decisions for me and not anyone else, it feels weird and liberating at the same time.

Today I am throwing a playdate/girly afternoon for my BFF&A, her little man, her sister(who is in from LA), dr.Bray and her boys. We are going to have a lunch and enjoy each others company over kool-aid.

I am excited for the warm weather because I tried to entertain Morgan the other day with the water table she got for Christmas. I thought it is just water right? well that is fine if you child doesn't mind walking around in her diaper while playing in it, but when she wants to wear clothes, four outfits later, in one hour, then ends up sticking her whole head in the water it is time to put it outside. She had fun with it and has almost manipulated me into filling it up again, with her please puppy dog eyes, and telling me how much she loves me.

Preparing for the Next Step

2009-02-04T11:12:00.002-05:00

I'll have to admit I have been staying away from this place simply because all that is pondering through my head these days, last week, last month is "The Move". I know it is imminent has been for over a year now, I have been fortunate to have a roof over my head this far. I don't know where "The Move" is taking us just yet there are options out there.
The house where I reside has been the one permanent fixture I have lived in far longer than any other in my life, or of what I can remember. Growing up we moved alot always staying in a particular area so as not to be to far from family or the same school, but a different house. When I graduated from high school and went off to college I moved 3 times in one year. I am an expert when it comes to moving and getting from point A to B without using a whole lot of time and energy packing un-necessary boxes when your just gonna un-pack them in a couple hours. I learned to keep momentum's to a minimum and invested in hard plastic containers for the items you can't live without but don't look at everyday.
This time feels different, IS different. I have a same child who comes with more than I have ever had in my life time. I also have eight years worth of "stuff" that has accumulated and will be purged because "stuff" that once occupied over 2000 square feet will only bring clutter to less than 1000 square feet.
I am overwhelmed and hopefully,
Patient and over excited,
Optimistic and faithful,
Disappointed yet blessed to have another opportunity of one door closing to find another one opening to a new chapter of my life.
"The Move" will not be permanent at least that is how it feels, but a stepping stone in the right direction to something that will undoubtedly bring something much more than what my mind can wrap around at the moment.

Enquiering Minds

2009-01-23T12:36:00.003-05:00

To set the record straight my profile status still remains "single". Good news for that 14 year old stalker that haunts this place from time to time, and the answer still is NO if your wondering if I am ever going to talk your mother to see if it is Ok to come to the United States.
I did not find an old boyfriend on Facebook just an old friend who is a boy, he delivered my mothers newspaper for 3 years, on his scooter, and lived kiddie corner from us, and we held hands once after I broke up with his best friend. We have lots of memories together but faded apart after I got married and had to be responsible and devoted, blah, blah, blah.
My Match.com profile is still up but I refuse to pay for it. I get a few winks which is free and only 2 out of 3,976 times my profile has been viewed have the men been wink back worthy. To justify $60 to be winked at by men that are old enough to hang with my Dad is not worth it to me, I would rather sit at the local tavern and spend $10 for a couple beers and get the same effect. I guess what I am trying to say is I really haven't put myself out there long enough to resort to the measures of the Internet.
Thank you "A" for throwing out that bone and giving everyone a little something to nibble at, I think it is funny. I must be looking desperate these days to have such a large cheering section on my dating life. I will say this I have plans two weekends in a row to mingle with other adults and throw myself out there. Who knows this blog might be getting a whole lot more interesting.

Reminder

2009-01-22T11:44:00.004-05:00

It has been brought to my attention more than once how desperately you need me to update. Well here I am and there you are hanging on the edge of your seat not knowing if I am ever going to get off the toilet right?? no. Everything is fine and the fiber bars have been put in the back of the cupboard where they will spend the rest of their shelf life unless family comes over and they want a snack.
The calendar has reminded me there is only 10 short weeks until I have to find a new place to dwell because by April 1st I need to be out of my house so that the bank can reclaim their possession. I am taking each day as it comes seizing what lies ahead a new start, a new place, a new beginning, but in the back of my mind dreading the move. It has been eight years since I had to pack up my stuff and relocate to this home I thought would be my final resting place. Funny how life as I planned doesn't seem to be my plan after all, and I am ok with it. Most of my time has been spent searching the Internet for a more reasonable place to live with enough room to fit my girl, my sister and myself. I know I don't have alot of "stuff" but I do have big "stuff" and am looking forward to the cleansing of closets and cupboards to downsize. This move will not be permanent but a stepping stone in the right direction of a peaceful existence I need to move on with Morgan and I as a family together taking on what adventure is next.
In the meantime work has cut hours, I am not working Mondays, and only work 32 hours a week which really hurts the pocket book on Friday. Hopefully this is only temporary for a couple months, I remain optimistic! Not to mention the long 3 day weekend and enjoying Morgan who continues to be my snuggle bug on these cold mornings.
This is where I have been stuck in home hunting purgatory! OH then .......
Not sure if you heard or not there is this thing called Facebook, if you know what is best you will not spend your day updating your status or hoping old boyfriends will call because you will just turn into this Loser who doesn't update her blog.

Increase Fiber........slowly

2009-01-07T21:19:00.009-05:00

I had every intention of spending my spare time today giving you my thoughts on resolutions, how I never really like them or have I really never made a resolution. I had pondered a thought here or there perhaps eating healthier, exercising more, making more time for myself. Then it occurs to me I am just setting myself up for failure!! Stupid resolutions......I don't want to have to wait in line for a spot on the treadmill this time of year at the gym, nor do I know what me time is anymore between being a mom and work, I am lucky to shave my legs.(and there I just scared off any chance of getting a date THIS year!)

I was at the grocery store the other day, no not yesterday, the day before that, pathetic I know every time we pass a Meijer my daughter yells from the back, I WANT TO GO TO MEIJER!! some days I tell we can't Mommy's broke and she tilts her head and says it's ok tomorrow be better. Sweet isn't she?? Anyway apparently if your not waiting in line at the gym for the treadmill, you can still get fit at the grocery store because they have strategically placed the "healthy" stuff at the front door and are practically shoving nuts and whole grains down your pie hole and have roped off the "snack" food isle something about restocking or cautionary measures for the over sized pallets the put in front of the ho-ho's and twinkies. They even placed coupons next to the high fiber good for you food. Because I did not make a resolution but should really eat healthier, increase my fiber intake and because it is Dark Chocolate with almonds and it has a coupon what harm could a 1.2 oz chewy bar do to help my digestive track anyhow??

Let this be your warning it can do ALOT! Yesterday I did not think much of it but today, today my friends it feels like the regret you get when you ate a handfull of sliders at 2am after an all night beer buzz except I don't remember having that much fun yesterday!!

Don't let the deliciously drizzled bite of scrumptious blend of chocolate fool you, do however pay attention to the small warning on the side of the box in yellow that reads......NEW USERS Increase your fiber intake gradually. (so having one bar two mornings in a row is probably not a good idea), Gastrointestinal discomfort may occur until your body adjusts.

Or you'll look a little like this all evening except without the cute pig tails I am sure.

Time off

2008-12-30T22:41:00.015-05:00

I am sitting here in a quiet house listening to the furnace kick on and the occassional needle tapping of snow and ice on the window. Tonight I am alone in my house without the worry of listening for my little girl in the next room but really I am worrying still that she will have a restful night sleep away from me. As often my feeling is when we are away from each other.

I have been off work since last Tuesday and it feels as if I am stuck in some sort of time wrap or twlight zone, being off work and restricted timelines has really messed up my sleep pattern and made me eat far to many holiday cookies than I care to admit. My days are bunched together and the impending arrival of 2009 is upon us, I think in 2 days. Whatever the day I am enjoying the time with my daughter, to wake later than normal and snuggle in bed longer than we need to only to read the 12 childrens books that clutter my nightstand. We eat potatoe chips for breakfast and skip lunch to play with playdoh. Despite the slight fever she had on Friday night and cough the last 3 nights we are in good health and are more than happy.

Our Christmas was met with lots of shared time with family and friends. Morgan enjoyed her first Christmas Eve service at church especially the candle lighting her eyes were a gleem to get to hold her own candle and as she sat in my lap the warmth of the candle felt like God giving us a hug.

Time has really flown by this year and next year is going to bring change, alot of change, so much change that I am excited and scared to death all at the same time! Before that change comes I will continue to move along day to day with faith in the future.

With that I leave you with some holiday photos of JOY, PEACE & LOVE of the season.

If you don't know boogers, you won't understand.

2008-12-18T12:19:00.006-05:00

Morgan has taken a liking to blowing her nose, which is great cause hey get those germs out of there so we don't have to go to the doctors office. But the nose blowing has turned into this sort of fascination of what happens to bodily fluids that have mutated in your body. This morning as we snuggled in bed not wanting to get out of our pajamas and ready to jump into our morning routine. Morgan looks over to me and says "mom get me napkin my nose", noticing she sounded congested sounded like a good idea. I get out of bed and grab her a tissue, which I know your saying why do you let her boss you around like that, and my answer to you would be because I don't need a 40 foot trail of toilet paper from the bathroom to my bed, I am on a tight budget. As I handed her the tissue she started to blow away, I proceed to change into my work ensemble. Blowing as hard as she could she was successful in recovering what she calls, a "big juicy worm". "See that Mommy?" "See that big juicy worm?" yes I may have caused this reference of a booger as a juicy one but she added worm. She then begins to examine it in the tissue and the look on her face was of pure disgust and I couldn't help but turn away and laugh. Because if she thinks worms are up there and she wants to blow them out, this means less digging for me.
This is what my blog has turned into a head full of congested thoughts, or dinner for a sucker fish!

All that is Slippery and Bright

2008-12-10T08:34:00.007-05:00

Look what the cat dragged in......ME! Wow am I glad to be at work well not really but I am in a safe place and so is Morgan. The roads were one big slippery mess this morning after an all day rain yesterday, dropping temperatures and all that water, YUCK! I was kinda hoping it was going to be snow and blanket all the beautiful Christmas decorations. I love to see the lights warm the snow and peek just a bit it brings a warmth to the heart.
Speaking of Christmas lights, Morgan can not get enough of them. The other night when we left my in-laws house after celebrating my sister in-laws birthday(shout out Jen! wOOt,wOOt, your older than me for another 23 days), Morgan yelled the whole way out of the subdivision OH!MY.GOODNESS., look at these Christmas lights MOMMIE!! over and over again. It was so cute to hear her tiny voice get so excited.
Tonight Morgan is going to sit on Chris Kringle's lap, I have been teaching her how to shake hands and say nice to meet you. She has got it down so far, we'll she how she does when put in front of the big guy. I asked her what she wants for Christmas and she says presents, in a whispered voice. I told her Santa is going to ask you what you want and you have to tell him what kind of presents, and she just says a BLUE one! I don't think it is to late to teach her Mommy wants a date for and for me to stop picking my nose!!
Hope you enjoy the new header on top created last night, after downloading some pictures from over a month ago. So you can expect some more pictures soon, after I get off Facebook my new obsession. If you have an account come be my friend or poke me! Can you believe there are people on there that remember me when I was 12?? crazy, I KNOW! so glad braces took care of the buck teeth.

Individualistic

2008-12-05T12:39:00.010-05:00

When a person becomes a parent everyone around adorns them with sweetness, the sound of birds chirping freely, the sun shining brightly, and promise of wonderful joys a child can bring. Well what they really fail to mention is that overly joyful spirit lasts a brief 23 months, just when you think it is ok to turn off the baby monitor because finally a full 8 hours of sleep, BAM whether you like it or not that baby is 2! And with 2 brings independence and a self controlled no matter how many times you repeat yourself toddler who will beat you down mentally and physically! If you have ever considered becoming a parent I suggest you borrow one at this age to get the full effect of what you will believe eventually at some point, make you drink, lock yourself in a closet, drive around the block with the radio full blast, or run for the hills without looking back.

The day and the life of a two year old is exhausting. If you are reading this while pregnant for the first time and you are at the point of no return consider this your warning, stock up on adult beverages, ear plugs, or go back to school and learn how to manipulate a small persons mind(no offense to those who are below 4ft). The skills of a toddler are much more advanced than we give them credit for, such as turning off the lights in the house for the evening you must include your toddler if you know what is good for you, because if you don't let them help a tantrum of earth shaking decibels will ensue, and you will find yourself turning the lights back on just so you can turn them off again with a small persons help. Don't get me wrong I am all for the independent self-supporting child if they could only get up on the toilet by themselves. If it is imperative that your little one wants to zip up their pajamas by all means pull up a seat or get a good book this one takes at least ten minutes and a couple melt downs in between before final success I DID IT happy dance eruption, you have plenty of time to think of which booty shaking move you can end the event with because self-esteem building is the key to getting it done quicker the next time and humor of your antics will no doubt be what they are zipping up their pajamas for anyhow.
Do not expect your toddler to like picture taking MORE at the age of 2 if they never really liked it at age 1. You can not entice a toddler with a sucker and promise them the sucker in return of a pose in front of a Christmas tree, because even though they fully understand the word sit down, look over here, and smile. They will run around screaming in the house my sucker, my sucker as if their life was dependent on it, like a junkie on crack. So you give in...OK I will give you the sucker if you sit here in front of the tree and take a damn picture. If you think it will get you the picture of advertising dreams you are mistaken, what you will get is a smart ass 2 year old who is happy to have a sucker and will not LOOK at the camera even if you tell her monkeys are flying out of your butt.
The spirit of Christmas will be spoken with this picture from us this year, hope you enjoy.

Gift Giving

2008-12-02T11:56:00.003-05:00

Hey there remember me, sorry to treat all 2 of my blog followers like I do my checkbook. I ignore it but I know just where it is, I have a boat load of receipts(ideas of writing) to apply to the balance it says I have and actually don't, I noticed the only thing I really have used the checkbook for lately is that handy little calendar on the back, which by the end of this month I am totally screwed because hey 2008 will end and that is the last of 3 years that tiny piece of paper can hold!!
I am ignoring the fact that it will be Christmas in 23 days not that I don't want to celebrate the birth of Jesus, because I can rock an awesome birthday.....Yo Jesus I still have the Sponge Bob bounce house in my basement, and Morgan has perfected the happy birthday song, so we got you covered. It is the other part of Christmas, the retail part, the part where you feel obligated to purchase gifts for loved ones. Don't get me wrong I love giving and wish I could give to all, but I am strapped this year. Are there any ideas out there for simple, cheap gift giving ideas to please the masses?? In my family we are only buying for the kids because really the gifts are about the kids I think, but when I only have one and have to purchase for seven I get hives and that tight pinch in my stomach. I love the holiday and being able to see everyone and eat festive food but I just can't seem to get my head in the game this year.
Tonight I plan to get my girl dressed up, perhaps I will too and we can get some pictures in front of the Christmas tree that we put up on Thanksgiving. Hopefully we can get a good shot for our Christmas cards and maybe one to give to as a gift, grandparents like that stuff.

Turkey Day

2008-11-26T11:52:00.004-05:00

Despite the doom and gloom of yesterday, my brother remains positive that something will come of this rut he was thrown into just before the holidays. I guess he will take it day by day like the rest of us living from paycheck to paycheck.
In other thoughts there is alot to be thankful for this year, like health, our children, a roof over our heads, heat(even if it is 68') and cheap beer, they still sell Milwaukees Best right?. Not to mention the fact my brother knows how to shoot deer if they get desperate. They are still planning their trip for Kansas to see my SIL family and they are know going to get paid for it with the unemployment check, where as before he was just taking a week off work. Instead of basting in the fallout they are going to take a long drive to blow off some steam and surrond themselves with family.
I am putting my foot down this year and staying home. No more running around for me this month heck I am not even going to cook. My aunt is coming over to spend the day with Morgan and I, we plan to stay in our pajamas and put up the Christmas tree. My sister will pick up the $29.95 fully cooked turkey meal from Meijer on the way home from work. We will eat drink and be merry!! and not have to drive half a day or hang over a hot stove to get there.
Hope your Turkey Day is yummy, relaxing, and full of left-overs!!

Tough Tuesday

2008-11-25T09:42:00.000-05:00

Just as I was going to complain about the cold dreary weather and the fact that I get crabby from the lack of sunlight my body is exposed to. My SIL just called and informed me my brother has been laid off, for what sounds like permanently. This auto industry problems and the economy here in Michigan is hitting home literally. I have nothing more to say.

no big deal

2008-11-21T12:40:00.008-05:00

My little angel is some what of a boss at a mere 24 months 21 days old. Which is good because I got the kick me in the ass, telling me what to do right now in my life attitude lately. Having a miniature dictator like Morgan in my house does have its comical side. What could be more fun than a toddler pulling your finger to play with legos? or drink pretend coffee from a tiny tea cup, or forced to bite a plastic piece of pizza and like it?? If you happen to have a toddler at home you know the things that come out of their mouth is sometimes cute and other times not so much. Now that we are in the stage of full sentences and talking about ourselves in third person we have a house full of non-stop fun.
Imagine if you will a 27 inch blue eyed blonde haired squeaky toy look at you in all seriousness and remind you for 3 weeks "light burned out in kitchen"moment later"that's OK mommie fix it, get a new one" but here is the funny part she shrugs her shoulders and says "no big deal"!!! Or how about "daddie broke pumpkin stem" this she remembers from 2 months ago and reminds me everyday "daddy get me new one" shoulder shrugs "no big deal". My all time favorite this week has to be the one after she has had a melt down about the round peg not fitting into the square peg hole, once she notices I am not going to relate to her meltdown she turns it off and looks at me to say "Morgan's ok" without a tear in her voice "no big deal". Or it could be when I ask her the question "Is Mommie whining?" she will look at me and say "no Morgan whining". Good just want to make sure we are on the same page, no big deal!

Madge

2008-11-19T10:51:00.004-05:00

Awesome!! It seems though Madge may have been a little un-impressed by the number of people who did show up for the show, because she did not start until almost 10pm! We arrived in the D around 6:30pm to get good parking and find our seats before the show that was suppose to start at 7:30pm, with no opening act, just a DJ to spin old school. After four beers(over priced), a pretzel for dinner(also over priced), many potty runs, and being moved out of our seats for being in the wrong section, after being upgraded to fill lower seats. Madonna walked out on stage and gave it 2 the D! She looked awesome though all 6 wardrobe changes, I was a little disappointed she did not sing my anthem HOLIDAY, but a radio rendition played while we left the stadium.

Right now I am tired from not getting home until almost 1am and waking up late for work. The boss wants me to make a power point presentation that I have never in my life created before. It seems that it is my punishment for being 45 minutes late and smelling of $7.50 beer. Check back later for more photos from the night still nestled away in my camera.

Monday Meandering #19

2008-11-17T11:50:00.005-05:00

What do you mean it is Monday already?? I felt my weekend was one big compressed week in the span of two days! Let's make a list of things I didn't do this weekend it will be shorter;
- grocery shopping but we were not home long enough to eat
- shopping for a new shirt/outfit to see Madonna tomorrow night
(well I am not actually meeting Madonna just seeing her concert) (where there will be other adults who look not so single mom like)
- hair salon to get my ever so overdue locks cut
See if there is anything in between that short list I am sure I was there or did that whatever that may be.
My daughter thinks that when ever she doesn't see me it means I am at work, including putting her to bed. The other night she layed down in her bed and after sayin "nite mommie" she softly said "go to work". According to her I worked ALOT this weekend, cause it seems the times she was with me she was either napping or being passed to another family member. I plan to make it up to her this week, by only planning the concert tomorrow night. Why is it so darn hard to be a single mom and work full time and still have a social life???
Things that we did do in between the non-stop rain would include a birthday party, a purse party, bowling, church, and a Circus!! Your tired right, so glad I am not the only one.

Life I was meant to be in

2008-11-14T08:53:00.009-05:00

Last week was the anniversary of the end of my marriage, a divorce and the beginning of single parenthood legally, one year come and gone. Last week was a reflection of sorts my mind cloudy from cold medicine, but coherent, I felt a calm in the reality of my life. These sort of thoughts wash over me from time to time, reminders if you will, that I am a single mom making decisions on my own in the best interest of me and my baby girl. Overwhelming decisions at times that well up inside my stomach and cause that lump in your throat as your face holds back tears. Tears that you want to come to release the emotion flooding inside your body, but you hold back and tell yourself to be strong. Things that will work themselves out, there is no use trying to control situations that were created to build character and celebrate adversity of a life you were meant to be in, this the calm of reality.
Without sounding ungrateful for a home I currently have, I look forward to a new home I have yet to live in. So many memories surround me in my house, empty corners of "things" that were once shared are now only foot marks of crushed carpet and dust filled holes in the wall where a TV once stood. As much as I would like to fill those voids with something the feeling to run away from it increases. I long for moving day a fresh start to organize my things as I know them, a life I was meant to be in.
My new journey started last week, one that in the next year Morgan and I WILL be moving. We don't know where or how but it is imminent and the lump grows in my throat. The fear of the unknown but the thought of a new peace consumes my life now. My hope is that we will make it and it doesn't have to be big or grand but it will be made with love. Love of a single parent of a little girl who I knew would come to change my world and also bring it in focus. Changes in my mind that I know will bring hope for a rekindled spirit in my thoughts on what it all means anyway, which will still bring the lump in my throat but a lump I hope will bring more joy with the comfort of a life I was meant to be in.
When the dust settles from the chaos that will pick up our belongings and bring them to a new place to live. There will be more time to laugh, more time to play, more time to be a mother and feel the lump in my throat that will come. New memories that have yet to be written on paper or captured in a photo. A new year of things that will not always be easy but will be mine, ours. Overwhelming thoughts of gratefulness that this is the life I was meant to be in.

Monday Meandering #18

2008-11-10T11:19:00.014-05:00

Thanks to everyone who sent me get well wishes last week. I never received the chicken noodle soup, but lucky for you I don't hold grudges to long unless you were once married to me. I am feeling a bit better today the headache still comes and goes and every once in awhile I will cough and it feels as if a jelly fish is stuck in my throat, but hey at least it is breaking up.
Friday night SD had Morgan over night. I spent most of my time drinking cough syrup from the bottle to wash down the severe cold medicine I was carded for at the store earlier that day. For real people we live in an age where you have to be carded for Tylenol, and seriously I almost gave it back to the cashier because the look she gave me and her secret phone call to the 411 house phone made me a little nervous to walk past any one under age. You should have heard me peel my tires high tailing it out of the parking lot before they established the road block. I made it home put on the cozy pants and wrapped myself in a blanket and looked around at all the books and toys from the night before then decided the effort to pick up was much worse than the time it took me to pick up the remote and vegetate in front of the tube! By 9pm I had regained enough strength to pick up the toys and vacuum because the benefit of vacuuming without a toddler screaming "I DO IT" outweighed the pounding in my head.
Saturday I had a maintenance man from the propane company I use over to replace a faulty valve on the hot water tank I feel like I just replaced. If you are any kind of friend dear internet please drop a house on my head the next time I decide to move into a house in the country one where the gas required to heat the house is propane and the water comes from a well. I am a city girl and even city girls have there limits and I am about at the end of mine. Without the pleasures the city can provide, one that no matter what the heat comes to your home naturally and is not carried in by truck, and the water oh the water doesn't dis-color the $100 hair-do in a matter of a couple weeks and the white shirts, socks, and sheets don't look stained!!! I'm going off on a tangent here but the move out of this current house can't come soon enough. Last week during a fill up because the tank had run low they did a pressure test to find that the valve on the hot water tank was leaking, as in leaking enough to maybe cause an explosion or so that is the urgency the propane company explained to me. So I ordered the part and had it rushed to the house to be replaced, a part that had been recalled so bonus the part was free shipping was not. Story in short the part was replaced and a couple hours later installed for a trip fee of $85.

Without the risk of the house exploding a blessing or a curse depending on the time of day I talk about the place where I currently dwell. Morgan and I rested and cleaned up to celebrate Alexander's second birthday. We had a fun evening with BFF&A and family with food and cake! Little Alexander is such a ham when it comes to being the center of attention alot like BFF&A. The party was a small venue with immediate family that I grew up with in my young years and my adopted mom couldn't say it enough how happy she was that BFF&A and I had children growing up at the same age. It makes us happy too.
Sunday was our day of rest, I was still battling my head cold and Morgan just wanted to jump on her trampoline all day. Which made us all very happy in a warm house with hot water.

I'm Sick

2008-11-06T08:30:00.007-05:00

Since I don't have a husband to whine and complain to, I choose you dear internet. I am sick with one of those icky head colds. The kind of cold where the mucus gets stuck in your throat and the more you try to clear it the more you cough, the more you cough the more your throat itches and then suddenly the cough stops and what your left with is a headache and the thought of OH my GOD my ears, my ears are plugged how am I going to breathe!!!!!!!! Can someone kindly step in and fill my position here at work, I would still get paid of course, and you could just sit here, or do payroll, balance the checkbook, answer the phone, make coffee, go get lunch for everyone, pay some bills, create invoices, and call on the deadbeat accounts who refuse to pay their bills in full? DEAL????
After I dropped Morgan off at daycare on the drive to work I caught myself glancing behind every 7-Eleven, Walgreens, or Speedway and wondered if it was a good place to hide for the day. I could use Morgan's blanket from the back seat and just curl up in a ball and rest for the next 8 hours, in my car, with the doors locked, you know safety first. Well if you haven't guessed by now I made it to work and lucky for me the bosses are in a training class for much of the day, so I am sitting here with the lights turned off and the phone on low so that the ringing doesn't pierce my eardrum when someone calls.

I wonder how long it will be before someone delivers me some chicken noodle soup? homemade, there is to much sodium in the can stuff, at least that is what Campbells is claiming these days. Oh and do you mind turning up the heat I'm Freezing!

I am trying to look on the bright side though it could be worse. It has just been so long since I whined, it seems lately Morgan gets to do all the whining and it just wouldn't be good parenting if I whine to her, the whole lead by example thing. By the way what makes a toddler get so upset that they think it is OK to knock their head on the floor on purpose? Because I KNOW I never did anything like that, not that I haven't thought about it, but to throw yourself on the floor and head butt the ground imagine that headache.

VOTE

2008-11-04T08:36:00.003-05:00

On this day, every four years most of us don't mind being called a jack-ass.

You know who you are get out there and VOTE!
GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Smell my feet.....

2008-11-01T14:55:00.019-04:00

This was Morgan's first time trick or treating, knocking on doors, russling through the leaves on the sidewalk, and amazed that people give out candy just for knocking on their door. So without further a-due, I give you this video and if you can hear over me and my sister in-law Barb giggling you hear my daughter knock and say "smell my feet".....yes her first door ever trick or treating she remembers the bad thing I taught her, nice. and Oh the lighting sucks but you can imagine it is really cute to see a chicken begging for candy and looking in her bucket for the first time!

Morgan and I traveled in rush hour traffic on a Friday afternoon to the other side of the world where my brother lives to trick or treat with my nephew Luke. We could not have asked for a better evening here in Michigan, most years it is cold, rainy, or even snowing. The kids looked so cute in their costumes. Luke was Spiderman equipped with fake muscles and Morgan was a chicken and clucked on command, "Balk, Balk" while tucking her hands in her armpits and flapping her elbows up and down!

I couldn't help but notice the lack of particaption by kids of all ages escpecially on such a beautiful night. Most streets were dark and you didn't see many trick or treaters like when we were small, I was kidda bummed. After we rounded the block at my brothers, we loaded the truck with the wagon and went to my Gramma's neighborhood. Here are the kids knocking on Great Gramma's door something my brother and I had done for so many years, it was a full circle moment. There was one house that was pretty spooky, one that Morgan insisted I take her up to, this one she was not going alone. As we approached the steps I could feel her legs squeeze my body and her fingers dig into my back, as the monster on the porch handed us candy, she stared her eyes wide so as not to flinch, she watched to masked man's every move. We walked away and she said monster nice, it's OK. It was cute to hear Morgan say tank U, and happy halloWEEN as we left each porch. After about an hour the kids were tired and before we knew it the night was over, til next year, BALK BALK!!

One of Those moments

2008-10-30T14:06:00.012-04:00

I promise to get out a post of the ever so wonderful birthday party soon. IF I can find time to download some more pictures. Let me tell you those happy thoughts could not come fast enough yesterday.
It was a typical day you know the one that wakes you so much earlier than you want to get up. One where before you know it, it is time to leave and I haven't even put on my bra yet and my girl just wants to run around without getting her hair brushed before daycare. Then I throw her in the car with a half toasted waffle while I run around the house be sure all the lights are turned off, the heat turned down, and the dog was let back in, all before 7am.
Another day where I am running late as usual to drop off the baby at daycare and make it to work before 8am, then the day just turns crazy at work. A new machine is being installed but the shipping department forgot to unload a box that they already signed for and you pray that the trucking company hasn't crossed the border yet to get that ever so important software main brain package back to the shop.
Then I discovered my bank changed their rules again and decided to hand out NSF fees to anyone who decides to use their debit card the night before the direct deposit is to be put in your account. A bank system I thought I had working in my favor where if after banking hours I use my debit card then the transaction won't go through until the next day is not working in my anymore. Apparently if you use you card for any purchase it will be posted on that day and it doesn't matter if you have been a long time customer or not, fees will be applied for each item you over draw. Yeha I am rambling entirely way to much about the damn bank who as a courtesy has reversed the charges until next week when I try to beat the system again!
On my way home I had to return some items not needed from the birthday party at the mall. Where I went by Panera Bread to keep my girl quite with a bagel and myself energized with a coffee. We picked up pictures from our photo shoot with Alexander and headed home.
My sister called to remind me there was no milk at home, so I had to stop at Meijer on the way. By 6:30 pm I must have looked frazzled at the store, trying to compromise with a hungry two year old who insisted that she wanted to sit on her knees in one of the short baskets at the store. I insisted she sit oh her hinney, which I could tell was not going over well. A woman walked past gave me a friendly smile and said "it only gets better", suddenly I felt like a failure. So I took Morgan out of the cart and had her walk along side holding the basket, where she complained whined insistently. In her hast to stop the basket to get back in she threw herself on the floor and bopped her head, I scooped her up and she wailed. I pleasantly shot straight for the milk cooler conveniently located at the BACK of the store. All the while the people around me glanced behind their shopping list and somberly sleeping babies in their infant carriers. Deal with it people did you wake up at 5am this morning???
We eventually made it home in time for a quick dinner, bath, and before you know it bed!

Monday Meandering #17

2008-10-27T12:48:00.004-04:00

I need one more day of rest and a maid to recover from the most exciting two year old birthday party I have ever been to. I am not just saying that because it was Morgan's big day, but I honestly think everyone had a great time. If they didn't they are all lying!! In fact there was a time I looked at the clock and said wow we still have another hour to go, all the presents were open, the cake was being enjoyed and there was still food left.
So hey the party was TERRIFIC and my baby was HAPPY!! No one got hurt and I was successful in sending each child home with either a sugar high or a jumping induced crash to sleep car ride home! For some photos click on my flicker over there on the right.
For now I have to go to work, bummer I know cause you really want to hear more about the bounce house, the cake, the new pots and pans and more play food than streamers right.??!!
See you soon.

Hypocrite

2008-10-23T12:55:00.008-04:00

I remember a vague discussion with my sister in law sometime ago about how many birthday parties a kid should have in their young lifetime. A discussion I had BC (before child), I believe during that discussion I said when I have kids I will only celebrate the big ones like 1, and 5, then 10, then 16, I don't know what exactly makes these particular numbers big ones but it just numbers I threw off my head. To back my claim I exemplified 1 is well DUH the first ONE of many, then 5 cause hey your a big kid with friends in school now we can invite those friends, then 10 cause you know double digit, then of course the sweet 16 after that your on your own, only not really you can live with Mom for as long as you need to and she will be sucked into the graduation party and so on.

Anyway I have made it through most of this month telling myself oh Morgan's birthday is on the 25th not a big deal. A few people turned into over 25 people and their children cause I just can't invite two friends because that would leave out all the cousins and you know what happens when you don't invite family. Now that it is two days before said party I have no food to serve these people and I am at a loss for how to entertain 2 year olds, but I do it everyday and that just seems too exhausting! 12 little people all wanting to be held at one time, 12 little necks to nibble on, 24 little feet to chase up and down the hallway, 12 push-ups I have to lick to stop from dripping all over the place. Yeha you know you want to be me!! So today I have decided to take people up on their offer to bring something or watch my toddler over night so I can half-ass put together a circus themed birthday for my ever so busy ankle biter.
This party will be just as big as the big ONE. A party at one time I vowed never to throw but seeing that Morgan is my only one I plan to ROCK.THIS.PARTY.OUT. cause heck it is also a celebration of me becoming a Mom I always wanted to be. A single Mom who will pull through with a great party because working under pressure is how I ROLL! Now if I can just find my baby girl she was just here in the corn............

Haystack Jumping

2008-10-21T14:27:00.008-04:00

Step to the edge and gently bend at the knees...READY
The first time Morgan totally let go of my hand. As I grabbed for my heart my girl screams with laughter......
Do it again Mommy.............
Catching some air...................
Then with SD, Totally getting lift on this one, check out the pig tails.....
This could have went on for hours but we enticed her with a walk in the corn maze, stay tuned.

Monday Meandering #16

2008-10-20T08:41:00.005-04:00

Top of the morning to all of you!! I am not sure where I got the energy but I got out of bed this morning bright eyed and bushy tailed. No rolling out of bed turning off the alarm and crawling back under the covers to find a more comfortable spot on the other side of the bed. I just feel the need to mention having a queen size bed all to myself has its advantages. However I was delivering meal on wheels to my good friend dr. Bray this morning so I had to be up and moving early no time to delay, taco lasanga was prepped and ready to go. Morgan went to bed early last night which gave me extra time to prepare to get out the door on time this morning.
Now that I really think of it the whole weekend was a bit like a 32 oz. can of Red Bull, non-stop from the time I left work on Friday. SD was kind enough to pick up Morgan from his mothers on Friday which gave me an opportunity to travel to the other side of town for Grammy's birthday. Morgan and I surprised Great Gramma by showing up on her door step with a balloon. Of course no visit would be complete without the guilty remark of "OH I wondered why you didn't call me all day for my birthday"! ugh I am here that should be gift enough! We enjoyed our visit with Grammy and a few other family members over cake.
Saturday morning we had the chance to sleep in and have breakfast. Then SD called to see if we wanted to go to the cider mill. So we headed out to the apple orchard where we had a blast, feeding the animals, climbing the hay stack, running through the corn maze, taking a hayride to the pumpkin patch and picking out Morgan's first pumpkin and a gourd that she didn't want to put down. Because SD just had shoulder surgery and he was being bull headed and wanted to carry the pumpkin to the car by the stem. The pumpkin stem feeling the need to be released from the 30lb pumpkin let go all over the parking lot 2 cars before we were to put it safely into our trunk. So for the rest of our visit at the cider mill while eating donuts and drinking cider, my toddler repeated "Daddy broke pumpkin......accident" "it's ok, Daddy get a new one" over and over again. Nothing says guilty like your toddler reminding you of your pride. Lucky for us they had pumpkins already picked up front that we exchanged for a new one, not as pretty as the one we picked ourselves but a pumpkin none the less. Stay tuned for the picture edition later this week, you don't want to miss the action shots of mom & daughter jumping off the haystack!
Sunday we went to the Fall Fun Fest at Deneweths with the Johnson family. A little like the cider mill we painted a pumpkin had a snack, ran around the mini-haystacks for the kids, played on the giant sand hill, and rode the train through the haunted barn. My Aunt and cousin met us for the afternoon and we went to lunch then later back to my house so Morgan could open her birthday presents(my aunt can not make it to her party next weekend). All this and no nap but 10 minutes on the car ride home made for an early bed time of 7:30pm for the little one.
Now if you will excuse me I have to rest before this weekend birthday party number two! With a circus theme, there are hot dogs to be purchased and streamers to be hung, and OH popcorn to pop. This should be fun mixing two families of divorce always is!!!! hahaha

More like a slip & slide....

2008-10-14T21:18:00.005-04:00

I think you should all go over and see dr. Bray and give her a big HUG!! She spent the last 13 hours giving birth to a new son named Lukas Kelly! I do not have all the details but I know that Lukas was born just after 8pm this evening and weighed around 5lbs 7oz. So far everyone is healthy and doing well keep them in your prayers. I guess dr. Bray developed a pretty serious infection and is now being treated with antibiotics. You can learn more about her story on her blog, and the journey she has been on with this little one. The things we do for our kids, she is an awesome will of strength, determination, and patience. Welcome Lukas and Congrats to Kellie, Eddie and Nicholas, LOVE you all!

Hey you gotta check this video out............

I took this of Morgan tonight, notice her smarter than the average 23 month old I know that camera is on and will not perform no matter how much I try to coax her. Little stinker! Enjoy and if I sound like that for real......I know why I will remain single for the rest of my life.

Monday Meandering #15

2008-10-13T11:58:00.009-04:00

Hey there thought I would entertain you, yeha I wish you would all stop expecting clowns and circus animals. If your expecting me to tell you I had a complete and utter free weekend without having to drive anywhere or hold any schedule well then you came to the right place.
It was refreshing and totally unexpected to have SD pick up Morgan for me on Friday afternoon. I lowered my expectation level with SD and stopped getting mad that I am the only one pulling the weight around here. It is what it is and I have to accept it. Which meant that I drove straight home from work and didn't even notice the radio wasn't on for 25 minutes of my drive, by the time I did notice it I left it off because holy cow silence is Golden!
When I got home Morgan and I pulled dead flowers from the flower beds in front of the house the ones my sister planted and promised to tend but we won't go there. The sister bitching will only lead to me telling you about her moving back in with me and bringing her cat, the cat that shits more than any cat I have ever owned, the cat box she promised she would clean everyday because I think she knew about the shit machine before she brought it into my home. The sister and her cat that will soon be moving into the garage if she doesn't stop giving me attitude when I suggest she clean the cat box today!! ooopppppsss sorry just a little bitter........
Saturday was a complete and blissful day of rest. Except the one fact that my body woke me up at 5:50am, I popped open my eyes, then my heart began to race WTF what day is it?? I laid in bed listening for Morgan who didn't wake until after 7am. It was nice to snuggle such a happy and rested toddler and listen to her giggle every time I told her she had milk breathe! Most of the day was spent vacuuming floors, folding laundry, washing dishes and being chased by a pink dinosaur. Of course we did enjoy some time outdoors with the Indian summer like temperatures we are having. My friend Annette came by to visit to take some of the landscaping bricks from the yard.
Speaking of clowns and circus acts I have a birthday party to plan that happens in two weeks. I told myself before I had children that I would only celebrated the momentous birthdays say 1, 5, 10, 16....why is it necessary to throw a big shin dig of people year after year, a mix of people who don't normally hang out together in the first place??? well I am not sure why I am not listening to my gut to throw this big party but only for the love of my baby girl who will be 2! A girl who I am sure will be completely overwhelmed by the amount of people singing to her. A birthday party that will be assembled at my house in 2 weeks. A birthday party that will be pulled out of my rear because procrastination is my middle name and funds would be the second from last. But hey I am having a popcorn machine and plenty of sugar filled snacks to please the masses arriving just in time. Also thinking a rubber room with a lock on the outside should be installed just in case a relative or two gets out of hand.

MIss January

2008-10-09T15:14:00.011-04:00

I'm a sucker for a celebrity sighting. So when my brother called last night to say they were filming a movie in front of his house I didn't believe him. I told him he had to send me some proof. As I grilled him for information about how he knew it was a movie? He then asks me how often have I seen an old delivery truck driving down his street with a hot dog on top of it and a film crew with large lights? Coming from the neighborhood where my brother currently lives, not often, I mean never... especially one with FAG GOT written on the side of it.

Apparently a movie called "Miss January" staring Kim Cattrall and Brian Dennehy has been filming in the Wayne County area. Although it is highly doubtful that Kim or Brian will be walking into the local liquor store for a lottery ticket. I thought how cool to have Hollywood literally one house away from someone I know. My brothers house could be on the big screen, who knew. The house on the left is my brothers neighbor the hotel is on the right.

Good Ol' Fall

2008-10-08T14:47:00.008-04:00

I don't know about you but we have had the furnace on already and it hasn't been but a week. Morgan has come down with some kind of illness that has brought a temperature and nothing else. Tell me what are some of your tricks to drown out a bossy toddler who refuses to take a nap? and insists that Mommie's bed is the bed where she wants to sleep and oh not before you read a book, then get another drink of juice, then it is just a plain out screaming Mommie, Mommie when you lay her in the crib only to find her ten minutes later curled up in the fetus position in the corner of the crib. I am underpaid around here, having to deal with terrible twos makes me want to hide in the closet with a bag of M&M's only I know she will find me the girl has a nose for chocolate!

So Fall is here and I do like the change of colors on the trees. The last bit of color before everything is just white and grey then mud all over. The smell of cider is in the air. We have not ventured to the cider mill yet, but my friend Annette came by on Sunday afternoon with a treat of donuts, cider and cute pumpkin Morgan calls fuzzy. I think with Morgan's mature 2 year old status Halloween will be much more fun this year. My daycare is fully decorated, to see Morgans eyes to point uncontrollably at pumpkins and lights and skeletons, OH Morgan go SEE NOW! What a joy to see her happy and say everything she sees is awesome!

I am going to leave you with a Halloween costume preview with me modeling the hat of course, I am working on getting her to keep anything in her hair or on her head. Another phase I hope she grows out of. What are you kids going to be for Halloween??

Monday Meandering #14

2008-09-29T09:37:00.003-04:00

Do you ever have a weekend where you just felt like it came and went? The weekend that by Sunday night you felt like you should have done this and should have done that? It seems I got myself into a bit of a slump a halt if you will to be productive, I blame it on the fall timeline. The early sunset and the late sunrise, it feels like it is dark all the time, has put an early blah in blah, blah, BLAH! I need to kick myself into a new routine anyone got any ideas? what do you do when your steam has run low?

I guess I am tired of responsibility trying to sell a house, pay bills, looking for a place to live when the time comes to leave the house I have known, single motherhood, and not having someone to bitch about not replacing the light bulb in the garage. I know this too shall pass and I have to stop trying to control everything, but damn it is hard.

They are not kidding when they say time flys

2008-09-25T08:54:00.016-04:00

Last night Morgan and I spent sometime outside because allergies be damned I will enjoy the last few days of sun and warm comfortable temperatures even when it means I suffer from hay fever. As we wandered around the yard pointing at different bugs in the grass and Morgan walking through EVERY dried up pile of grass left by the lawnmower. I took a minute to watch her walk, jump, and fall down just to hear her say "UH-OH faaaallll down, git UP"! She talks so much now a days there is nothing she doesn't try to say. Right down to when I answer her I use the word baby or honey at the end of the answer and she will repeat after me like "it's ok honey" or "listen baby, you have to listen". It is just so cute to hear her tiny voice, I often make her recite the Five Little Monkeys book cause "doctor says no no monkeys jump on bed". We eventually made our walk over to the neighbors swing set because of my daughters love affair with the swing. The swing at the beginning of the summer she could not hold onto or had enough coordination to stay on for very long, eventually turned into swinging on her tummy, and now she can sit on the swing hold on and lean back as far as she can screaming "push me HIGHER MOMMIE"!
I can't believe in just a few short summer months this girl has went from itsy bitsy baby to full on itsy bitsy toddler, all 23 months and 21.6 pounds of her, no fear of bugs, heights, or falling. My girl is in constant motion right down to bed time, she can be a chatter box reading her books to go to bed now within a matter of minutes. Your typical tom-boy if you will, loves to point out every digger or dump truck she sees while in the car, and loves to run in mud puddles. Occasionally she will play with her baby doll but only to put her in the baby stroller and chase the dog around the house. One the other hand she loves to play with her little bunny house and carefully puts each one to sleep and covers them up with their tiny sheets. She also helps me clean the house and loves to take a wad of TP to wipe out the hair from the tub, so glad because I am tired of doing it. With so much all toddler, all the time I have no time to sit down and capture the present, or think of what comes next. I just know that I want to remember these times for as long as my memory will serve me because this tiny girl has the ambition I can only dream of. It makes me so proud to know my baby girl is ready to take on this world full speed ahead. I only hope I have enough in me to keep up, heaven help me year number 3 is approaching quicker than the last one.

Monday Meanderings #13

2008-09-23T13:34:00.007-04:00

What do you mean it is Tuesday?? Well you could be right I was walking around yesterday in a drug induced coma of cold remedies with a toddler attached to my hip whining about wanting grapes and not wanting grapes unless she was able to sit on my lap at the table and eat them. Anyway being the first day of Fall Morgan felt it fitting to come down not only with a cold the week before but with a rash which made us stay home yesterday morning. For me this worked out great because I never really got the 8 hours of sleep I deserved the night before, so bonus I got a nap from 11am-12:30pm. I know your thinking what does a nap feel like in the beginning of the afternoon when most of us are thinking about lunch? It feels pretty.damn.nice. until the dog starts barking just as you wake because "HOLY SHIT, there is a cat in the yard let me outside!!!" so see your not so jealous anymore are you?
I found a couple hours of time this weekend to sew, yes sew as in plug in a sewing machine Miss Suzy Homemaker, fabric measured(took an educated guess) and bought myself, seat covers for the couch. Tell me is it a good thing or a bad thing when standing in line at the fabric counter to have the old lady behind you admire the mint paisley pattern you choose to use to cover your couch? I happen to think the splash of pink gives it a little character. Here would be a nice insert for a picture but you can use you imagination. I ran out of fabric (so much for the educated guess) just as I was getting in the groove of sewing at 11:45pm on a Saturday night, OH what a challenging life I lead! So I have two cushions that will have to wait for the next time I have a couple hours to myself.
On Sunday along came this head cold that my dear child has been carrying for a week. The cold has now found it's way into my body where it will fester and reek havoc until my cranky old body decides it has had enough, which my body and mind have time differences all the time. So if you'll excuse me, I think it is time for my meds the ones that will hopefully put an end to this suffering.

Job Well Done, maybe

2008-09-16T09:20:00.009-04:00

So I missed Monday Meanderings two weeks in a row, whatcha gonna do about it??? huh huh! I thought so. I am the only one beating myself up about the issue and this whole holding myself accountable thing is not working. It works as well as my checkbook, which hasn't been balanced in oh I don't know 3 months. When I can't seem to zip my wallet closed anymore because I can't cram any more receipts into it I'll try and get around to it, which was sometime last week.

The only explanation I can come up with is time, time flys. I guess I am just enamored with the fact that I am a single mom who does have enough time in the day to get to everything on the "to do list" which would include picking up toilet paper. How does one forget toilet paper after going to the store 4 times??!! I often sit back and wonder how I made it this far, how I managed to juggle this life I lead. Kinda like the jumping through the wall of fire while on a tight rope all while balancing a monkey on your back. I think I may have referred to my life as a circus but it is the only analogy I can think of at this time. That and why have only the frumpy men over the age of 43 men winked at me on match.com??!! Have I lost my young appearance or is the lack of "likes to dance on tables" make the men my age pass on by??

Whatever the reason I know my role as Mother is already proving to be 22 months well spent. I know this because when we go through the drive-thru my girl not only assumes every window will provide her with "french fries" but also "mommie cappuccino". Which kinda makes my eyes watery because what kid do you know at 22 months says "cappuccino" clear.as.day?! And just this morning the fall allergy season can really have me sneezing in the morning, my girl will bless me everytime which sounds like "bessh you momma" and she then will cough and tell me "I coughin, sick". Then she will remind me that the "moon goin down, sun comin up" at least 50 times before we get off the freeway, then she will yell "school bus" or "see that?" which I am really not sure how to respond to. Then when I finally get her to daycare and hand her off "momma go ta work, make money". Yes the only reason Mommy goes to work is to make money we never actually see or neither one of us even knows exists.

BLAH

2008-09-12T11:37:00.003-04:00

Can someone please bring me a pillow and a small cot? The week has finally caught up to me, my eyes look like I was sucker punched twice(one for each eye)!
Lucky for me SD said he would pick up Morgan from his mothers and I can go home and take a nap on the couch. Count down 4 hours 10 minutes 37 seconds.

Have a nice weekend!

BTW - Finally got an offer on the house.....YEHA $90K less than asking price they can SUCK IT!

Sleepy Tyme

2008-09-09T21:26:00.008-04:00

I sit here in my pj's listening to the evening sounds of the fan humming from the room next door. Just beyond the wall lays my baby girl asleep, tummy full from a late dinner, washed from head to toe with a new berry burst bath soap, and thoroughly spent from the day. She tricked me into three books instead of two and rocking her in the rocking chair tonight. She played the snuggle me card that not many Mom's get from an almost 23 month old. When my girl gets really sleepy she likes to be tickled, an expression that means to barely touch her skin so she gets tiny goose bumps that puts her into a trance. "tickle me mommie" she says "tickle, legs, tickle tummie, tickle back" moving in positions so my hand gets just the right spot. As she nuzzles her way into my chest I rock, submitting to her requests, realizing she no longer fits comfortably but rather cramped up trying to get the perfect spot so she can fall asleep with me. I cherish these nights for there will come a day she will not need the comfort of my touch or the reassurance that I will see her in the morning.

As a Mom I find no greater gift than the moments I find my girl needs me, trust that I will be there for her, and all she has to say is "tickle mommie"

Labor Day Weekend

2008-09-02T21:52:00.017-04:00

Morgan and I finally took a trip "up north" to Oscoda. I have been wanting to go all summer but just couldn't pick the right time. I was glad that BFF&A had suggested we go for the last weekend of the summer. So glad we did the weather was perfect all weekend and with the exception of a few hundred ants in the cabin(all under extermination) we didn't need to use the heater or be stuffed inside because of rain. We did go up on Saturday and only stayed two nights but it was so worth the trip. Morgan viewed her first fireworks, that she would recall as thunder in the sky. Her heart was so full of joy that she could run down the beach in the sand as fast as she could and yell "I runnin" as fast as her little legs would take her. We spent a little time at the beach park swinging and sharing the slide.

BFF&A had her side kick Alex-an-Der with her, he had a great time too. He especially liked to just hang out at the cabin and play on the wood fence in the neighbors yard. I can't believe I captured a moment of Morgan hugging Alex-an-Der as she seemed to want to tell him what to do every once in awhile. "Come here Alex-an-Der" "no-no Alex-an-Der" "Sit Down Alex-an-Der" I just don't know where she gets the bossy-ness from.

I will ohhhh and ahhhhh you with some cute photos. Hope your week is picking up I have to go lie down I still have jet leg from to much fun!

This post brought to you by the letter G

2008-08-28T08:22:00.017-04:00

If you don't like to talk about Girly bits and underwear this may not be the post for you. Let me re-state that if the thought of being locked into a lingerie store for more than an hour with six or seven other woman all cackling about bras and underwear run, run now.

Oh your gonna stay well there will be no details if I prefer bikinis or thongs. However I will tell you I like pretty bras but in my old age and post pregnancy comfort is out weighing pretty. I have a whole drawer full of bras that at one time had fit me, bras that are pretty but do not full-fill their obligatory duties like I once thought they did.

Last night I had an epiphany that will change the way I view undergarments forever! My friend KT had an Essential Bodywear Party. Knowing my weakness for a good bra and the never-ending quest to find one, I had to go. I challenged myself on the way to the party that I was not going to buy anything I was just going for support, for KT.

Well the tables turned and suddenly I was being measured by a woman I only met a half hour before, snacking on fabulous beer batter bread, applying sticky stars to my shirt, and then thrown into a room of numerous selections of bras. Before I could suggest the one I liked the bra lady hands me five different contraptions and I was like what about the ones with the pretty straps, and she looked at me and smiled honey pretty doesn't come in your size trust me. I instantly thought OH Great how many clasps am I going to have to hook to get the support I need?? She takes me to the dressing room and says try these on and well go from there. Right there I almost walked out and said "you can't make me"! but my knees felt weak and I put the first one on "HA" doesn't fit to much spillage over the top. But the black one what the heck it doesn't have the pretty straps but it may be slimming to my figure black hides everything right?! Just then the room got brighter and angels were singing...."Glory to the highest!!!" well not really but it FIT like a Glove! For 17 years I have been looking and here it was the over the shoulder boulder holder I had to take home. As I looked down at the tag size "Good Golly Miss Molly" "God Gave you the Goods" and he has answered your prayer to put them to Good use and buy this bra!!!

As I walked out of the room(with a shirt over my bra) you would have thought I handed my friends a $100 and a margarita, they screamed and told me "YOU must buy that immediately"! At this point I am thinking is Ginormous bigger than Gigantic or should I just say they are Gorgeous! Then handed the bra lady a post dated check and a promise to host my own party so I could get another bra as a back up plan.

Then I thought I hope the bra gets to me before my blind date next Wednesday, if it doesn't I will have to post-pone!

Life is....A Mom and Her Girl

2008-08-27T09:33:00.007-04:00

A Wordle of life on A Mom and Her Girl. This site is pretty cool check it out.
Click the picture to make it bigger.

Who do you think you are?

2008-08-26T08:05:00.007-04:00

It has been over a year since I spent a good quality weekend with my girlfriends up north. Good times are just hard to forget. Although it was a short trip to Oscoda a one night trip we shared many beers and many more laughs with just four of us in a quiet cabin off US23. It wasn't until my recent trip to a Poison concert I remembered this; NO I did not ask for his phone number, and at first I thought he might kick my ass. (at this time I ask that the younger audience members of this blog shut it down immediately, if you continue to read the alarm will sound and your parents will be notified and pissed for spreading a virus in the computer and the contents can not be erased from your computer history, now go play outside, for the rest of you open at your own risk)!
Girls you know who you are this ones for you................WITH LOVE!

The evening started winding down on the one night of our trip and the slap happy frenzy of four women went off without a hitch, slurred words, many potty breaks and if you believe this we cuss like sailors, drank more than our share, and still made it to bed on time. I am not even sure how the phrase(with love) started and I am blaming it on the beer I lost through the cup coozy on the W cabin floor! The phrase(with love) eventually made it on the back of the vehicle we were traveling in where it stayed for the remainder of the trip, all 4 hrs home.

I will not forget that trip not so long ago, where I was reminded by Diva to not start my weeping over being away from my baby one night,

and K that we are NOT to old to pee in the woods, but are to old when we love to clean toilets,

and KT reminded me that women can fill boats with gas too!!

You girls are my rocks, I wouldn't leave you cause "I'm Rick James Bitch!" and you make such wonderful stories!!

Monday Meandering #12

2008-08-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

Friday was a Mommie day, one that did not require a diaper change or cutting up someone else's food, I ate a meal that was HOT, and only had to worry about wiping my own butt. On the way home from work I stopped to do a little shopping for me, I am pretty proud of myself I did not step foot into the toddler clothing aisle. I bought myself a couple skirts, a top, and jewelry. Later in the evening I went to support my good friend KT in a play called "Sing for Your Supper or Die". It was cute and required audience participation. One where I did not have to sing thank God! As I am typing this I do have that little jingle they were all singing in my head, K you know the one I hear you singing it! We enjoyed a meal with dessert and a funny show. After the show I joined my friend KT with her cousins and cast mates for an after glow party to enjoy beverages and conversation. I didn't get home until almost 1am. Saturday Morgan was home early which is not a surprise to me since SD had plans to go boating. I did not mind seeing my baby girl and making plans with my Aunt and Morgan's cousins to go to the festival in Mt.Clemens. Although the weather looked threatening of rain it was still hot and muggy, we had fun taking the kids on some of the carnival rides, feeding the billy goats, and jumping in the bounce house. After we went to the coney place to get dinner, then we took the kids to the park that I call Morgan's park, it is her favorite place. They have an activity area just for little ones it is perfect for her, because she loves to climb and this area is just big enough where I can reach her if she needs help. I took a few pictures of the kids but my camera battery decided to flash and didn't want to take a photo at the right time, so most of the pictures are the back of the kids heads, or the kind you would expect from a 35mm, not that my girl looks at the camera anyway. Here are a few to OH and AH.....

Sunday we did what we do best went shopping at Meijer after church and napped! We also had a visitor over for dinner Aunt Dee and her mother (my step-mom). Morgan showed off her motor skills jumping off furniture, climbing high chairs, and running in the sprinkler. I made a mean taco lasagna(a spin off from tmp) and strawberry shortcake for dessert. I miss my days in the kitchen, with a two year old somethings are left for another time.

P.S. K-I know I promised you a rose garden (post) on Friday night but the meanderings got in the way so I promise you won't want to miss a later post. Good things come to those who wait.

The extent of my Olympic watching

2008-08-22T14:44:00.005-04:00

I have a confession I have not watched nearly as much Olympic coverage as I an American citizen should have. Not that it is a requirement, but I feel left out of some conversations when it is brought up. It seems the times I have dedicated to sitting and watching a portion was the end of the opening ceremony, where I was thinking wow China sure knows how to put on the fireworks display......followed by OH that may be to much smoke and all those people in that stadium eeeee they may need to be treated for smoke inhalation. The second time I turned on the TV and saw a portion of the marathon running through the street and thought that looks painful the huffing and puffing, the running hope they have enough oxygen left over from the opening ceremonies. Another time I saw the gymnastics they were spending to much time on the horse vault thing and I would have rather watched the un-even bars but my time was limited so I moved on to giving the toddler a bath.
The extent of which I know about Michael Phelps is through media coverage and pictures on the internet because WOW! I LOVE America! and what awesome bodies it produces for these games! I know it is to late to take volunteers this year, but next time sign me up for towel duty, or anything that involves the male swimmers perhaps they need help shaving the backs of their legs?? I also want to ask Michael Phelps if that is a real tattoo on his hip, if so can I taste it?

Loaded

2008-08-20T21:40:00.008-04:00

The days of testing mommie's patience level, otherwise known as the terrible twos is upon me. Somedays are easier than others, and today was the others day...........

This morning my precious angel was cuddly waking up blinking her eyes, saying "hi mommie" We laid in bed discussing how dark it was outside and if we could hear any birds chirping or not. It was a chilly one this morning all about 44 degrees or so my car would read pulling out the driveway. All in all it was a pleasant day to daycare, with our usual conversation being the color of the truck next to us or how many diggers we could see on the way and of course music on or off. So I guess I wasn't prepared when I picked Morgan up from day care, and what would lead to my demise.

As I loaded my girl in the car and started off for home, it took her all of about 100 yards to flip out about the windows being down, "to WINDY"! so I roll up the windows enough to get air. Next it was a meltdown about her shoes being on, "SHOES off" then the socks didn't want to come off because she would rather pull on them at the toe instead of removing them from her heal first, something I have explained numerous times, and for God's sakes child you are smarter than that! We almost made it home when all of the sudden her seat belt straps were too tight, which caused her arms to flail around and her head to spin! when 25 miles ago everything in that area was perfectly fine!

Later that evening after dinner we played with the playdoh, or how Morgan says "make something" code for playdoh. We clean up and get a fresh dress on and her new thing is to wear these boots my SIL gave to me from my niece, four pairs of boots all different colors. Every night this week she wants to run, jump, walk in at least one pair, tonight it was the pink until she saw her cowgirl boot slippers and insisted on wearing those. OK you look great how about we go to the $1 store, she is happy jumping "go.to.store"! I go to place her in the car seat she tightens up her body refuses to have any part of the drive there wants to walk. I almost say fine I will meet you there but thought she may not know where it is exactly. We get to the $1 store with real tears streaming down her face suddenly she sees balloons and is like WHAHA lets go! Mind you I was only going to get a card and a few cleaning supplies, all she wants to do is walk around the store and say hello to everybody,and tell me "here mommie.plates". Needless to say hey person to whom I was sending a card it says Happy Ba-mitzfa but what I really meant was Happy Baptism, hope you understand. On the way out I am reminded of the balloons that my dear daughter now says "want ONE" we pick out SpongeBob.

On the way out to the car I continue to remind her not to let go of "Bob" because he will fly away. "don't fly away" she agrees and is holding on tight. Well I go to put her in the seat and once again it is like a wild beast erupts and your not sure where to put your hands because a tantrum like this could only bring harm, all the while I am being pelted with spongebob balloon in my face! Half way home I tell Morgan do not bite that balloon you will pop it, don't do that you are going to pop it 3 times. Fourth time I go to say it POP there goes $1.06 of my hard earned cash, just so she could bite a damn balloon!

We got home and I had just about all I could take, I grabbed her cuddled her and told her in the nicest of ways you are so lucky you get to put your jammies on an hour early tonight! When all I wanted to do was lock her in the closet and turn off all the lights(except I don't think my closets have locks and it would be a waste of time). Off we went jammies on two of the shortest books to read and Night.Night. Mommie has chocolate Loaded Reese Cup in the freezer, DO.not.mess with me anymore!

Corn Peddler

2008-08-19T21:17:00.007-04:00

I want to first give a shout out to DJ, a wonderful young woman who saved my butt Monday and came over to watch Morgan because daycare was closed. I know it had to be a long day for you watching a needy toddler with her bossy demeanor. I hope you had a good time, Morgan was looking for you and she told me you walked out the door, and tipped her head sides ways "Dee-Jay went away". I hope the next time I call you don't have to wash your hair or read a good long book, because I appreciate your time very much!

DJ is the daughter of a great girlfriend of mine tmp, we go back gosh I haven't counted but if I have to guess 4 years now. I am not good at measuring time and how long we have been friends, just ask my BBF&A if you ask me we have been friends 20 years but she would correct me and say no it's 23 years 3 months and 4 days. The point is when I make friends I measure the value of the friend more so than the time it took to be friends, or GOD I can't believe I still hang out with your ass that is a long time. I have many friends and cherish each one for different things they bring to my life.

TMP is part of my girls club, we often drive together to visit the other girls homes, not so much because we live around the corner from one another but during that time we chit chat about what is going on in each others life. She has a way to really make a person feel appreciated and reminds me that I have qualities that I never knew I had. Honestly I don't know how she does it with five kids at home, a husband, and a house that stays so clean, gardening, little league, theather practice, bible study, kids over to spend the night, vacations to distant states, all while driving for 20 plus hours, and did I mention she home schools her kids too?! There are so many qualities that she brings all with a bundle of laughter and the joy of God in her heart, you can't help but want to be friends with her. Part of me just wants to hang out with her just to see how she does it all, because by 9:02am I would be like aaahhhh do we all take naps now??

I guess what I am trying to say is if you ever get a chance to be tmp's friend(when really she has got alot going on but she is all like bring it) she enjoys people, remembers things that I don't even remember telling her about me, has great knowledge of life and the turns it may lead, is honest in her beliefs, shows great interest the world around her, makes a mean taco lasanga, and loves the heck out of her kids! I will be a little jealous to have to share her but I don't think that will make our friendship falter.

Last but not least over the years her kids have taken great pride in growing corn. The time is NOW to get your fresh corn on the cob and other fresh hand-picked veggies. If your in the area be on the look out for the latest corn-mobile 2. Take it from me I have consumed more than my share of corn this year and will still go back for more next week, this corn is DELICIOUS & sweet! kinda like tmp.

Monday Meandering #11

2008-08-18T07:36:00.007-04:00

The Armada Fair is in town again, by far it is one of the biggest 4H fairs in our area. If you love the smell of animal manure, fresh straw, tractor exhaust, deep fried elephant ears, popcorn, cotton candy, and hot dogs this is the place to be!! Can you believe I did not stop for a deep fried Twinkie or Oreo although it was very tempting. SD picked up Morgan on Friday and met me at home, this was a nice surprise to get home at 4pm and miss the rush hour traffic. After Morgan woke from her nap we headed over to the fair. Before we even entered the gate a mounted police officer passed us riding a huge horse, Morgan nearly fell out the stroller with eyes popping out of her head "BIIIGGG horsey"! This being the first time she was up close and personal with a horse, the smile on her face was priceless. We went to the petting tent to feed the goats, and touch the rabbits and baby chicks. On the way out we witnessed a llama relieving himself, an event not to be witnessed by those who have not seen birth.BLAH! At the cow tent Morgan was licked by the biggest tongue she had ever seen, she thought it was the funniest thing and it made her squeal in laughter. Although Morgan wanted to ride all the carnival rides we treated her to the carousal but she was more amused climbing the fence where the ponies were running.

Saturday it was nice to lay in bed until 8am and finally get some sleep I had been needing for the last week. Insomnia is back and I have to much on my mind to relax so when I get a chance to not be in a rush to get out the door it is always a pleasure. Morgan and I spent most of our morning running around playing baby dolls, reading books and putting together puzzles before nap. Then we headed over to the park to play on the swings and slide which are favorites of Morgans' lately. In facted the only way to get her away from the place was to suggest an ice cream push-up, so in a quick dash to the store to pick-up promised ice cream and we headed home.

Sunday of course we went to church, home for lunch and naptime. During Morgan's nap I snapped a few pictures of myself to be used maybe in a profile at a website soon. I have been wondering if putting myself out there on a website is to desperate but it may get me a free drink so I might take a chance. With of course a friend or two sitting in a booth at the same resturant for moral support of course. So tell me what you think which pic???

I am the biggest dork!!!! This is the most serious I could get when my dog was following me around panting, mocking my attempts to take a photo and look Hot for potential mates!

Getting back on the horse

2008-08-14T09:08:00.005-04:00

Today I am wearing the shoes that led to my fall on Saturday night. My cute summer white slingback wedges that are not so comfortable when standing in one spot for more than a half hour. If you listen closely my knees are still screaming "you unreliable faux wicker heals be damned"!By the end of the day I hope we can all come to a truce. I think it may be time to do some shoe shopping for moral support.

Monday Meanderings #10

2008-08-11T22:06:00.009-04:00

I am going to make this post just in time on Monday night so you can view it Tuesday, cause I am sassy like that. Besides I had a long weekend one where I forgot I was 30 something, then remembered half way through my fifth beer that it takes me longer to recover from these kind of partying nights, and one where I should be asleep right now but am going to share this and that with you before I get there. Before I get to my fake tattoo and the falling down (no really) it was like I was in high school again because heck I was rockin out to Poison, BABY!! Saturday night was the Poison concert I have been waiting all summer for, to spend five hours at an ampitheather through rain and beer to see Bret Michaels belt out a couple 80's tunes. Instead of trying to put into words about the night let's just leave you with pictures of a thousand words. Minus the one where I fell down because there was no camera around for that it was around my brothers neck and he was 800 yards ahead of the drunk chics(my SIL&well me)!

Fillin' her Momma's Shoes

2008-08-07T20:42:00.005-04:00

I haven't put out any cute photos lately of Morgan, so this will be short and sweet. Besides I just got home from dropping the little princess off at Grandma's to spend the night, I plan to watch the Bucket List in 4.32 minutes! She walks in her Mommy's shoes better than Mommy, and can even set up bowling pins. Have a great weekend!

Rest In Peace

2008-08-06T21:38:00.008-04:00

Back on the 13th of June my Uncle Bill lost his life in a battle of many different complications. He had been sick for sometime but was only 62 years old and I thought he would have bounced back from his stay in the hospital. I do not know all the painful details and I choose not to for I want to remember the memoriable stories that I cherish in my heart.

One story I will tell you today......

It was Easter dinner gathering at my house three years ago. Most of the family present for the event, one particular dinner I was extra nervous about. For on the day I was going to tell my family that I was finally pregnant after four long years of my battle with infertilty. Not only was this important but we were going to surprise Uncle Bill with a cake and birthday presents for his 60 years since birth.

My plan to tell the family (of why I was running to the bathroom every 5 minutes to puke) about the upcoming birth was to fill an Easter basket with plastic eggs, each egg with an inspirational note inside to read aloud with everyone. One egg was painted gold and the person who got the gold egg would not know before opening it but the message inside said I was expecting a baby.

So the basket was passed around as everyone stood around the kitchen table grabbing the egg of their choice. My Uncle Bill being none the wiser viewed the basket and shot right for the gold one. This was not planned for him to get the gold egg it was his choice, what better surprise to give him on his birthday than to be the one to tell the family I was pregnant. As I saw who had the gold egg I choose the person on his right which was my Aunt Bette to go first and open her egg. We went around the circle opening eggs, sharing heart felt messages and some funny humored notes. Uncle Bill was the last to open his egg once he opened it, he looks up and says "now I can't make a joke out of this" "are you for real?" and everyone looked around like what? and he announced I was pregnant with a tear in his eye and chuckle in his voice.

I am so glad I have that memory for one of the happiest days in my life. It was so fitting that my Uncle Bill would get that golden egg. Not only do I have that memory of him but it made me feel a piece of my Papa(who past 12 years ago) was there too, my Uncle Bill being his only son delivered a message of one of my greatest accomplishments the impending arrival of my baby girl.

May you rest in peace or raise some hell up in heaven. You have alot of catching up to do with Papa I am sure. I will miss you and think of you both often.

New Community

2008-07-31T12:38:00.005-04:00

Last night Morgan and I went to visit church on a Wednesday for a little something they call New Community. The event was fun and a lighter crowd than on a Sunday morning. I had no idea what to expect but I heard that New Community featured free dessert so I was all IN! I thought Morgan would enjoy the featured service with reference to KungFu Panda so I brought her along instead of leaving her in the nursery where she loves to play, but this is my time with her and I wanted to cuddle and sing along to songs, blah, blah, blah. I knew going in that a late service at 7:30 pm would be pushing bedtime til about 9pm. Somewhere at around 8:20pm Morgan would start getting squirrly and wanted nothing to do with singing and dancing this time at church. We stuck it out until the end of service and had the ice cream dessert that church had promised and went home.
Something happened at the beginning of the service that reminded me that kind spirits are all around us. As we entered the auditorium to find a seat I noticed an older woman a few rows in front of us, her name is Barb. I met Barb just that Sunday before while sitting by myself in church. When we sat down she was chatting with the younger lady next to her and they both turned around and were scanning the crowd for someone. I tried to make eye contact with her to say Hello but she was looking over me. After a few minutes I got up and walked down to greet her and she was so pleased to see me like she was waiting for me to get there. Barb smiled and said "there you are I was looking for you" in that moment I thought how sweet she remembered I mentioned coming tonight and she was looking for me. She politely asked if she could sit with us and of course I obliged.
Through out the service she helped me entertain Morgan with a pen and paper, a package of Reese pieces, and her pocket lipstick mirror, all from her bag of goodies. How kind of this woman of whom I have only met but a few hours suddenly was my friend. It was nice to have Barb sitting next to me admiring my daughter and my company. Although she could have picked anyone in the crowd to sit next to she made me feel special for just that one moment.
Which brings me to the message of the service a message I am sure Barb had no idea the impact she had brought to my life last night. The service was a reminder of our weaknesses that could prove to be our greatest assets, just like KungFu Panda. We all hold special qualities and some are as simple as acknowledging people for who they are without judgement. For everyone has something to give to someone. And like Barb I want to meet people by a simple hello and spend if only an hour with that person to make them feel important for a moment, to hear their story. Can't wait to meet you.

Monday Meandering #9

2008-07-28T10:09:00.004-04:00

Let me just say so far today my hair looks GREAT! In fact I have not used my curling iron in two weeks because after my last hair cut (the cut that put short as too short when she used the razor on my neck) has forced me to use my round brush to style my hair. The round brush is a technique that is hard to pick up on if you don't have good wrist action and mind mirror control, the first time I tried it I was all sweaty and had to re-apply my eye make-up because I thought for sure I was going to get my hair wrapped around the brush and have to cut it out then I would have to go for a shorter cut to make up for the bald spot I just self-inflicted onto myself. But I'm good and the cut is looking better everyday.
Friday I went to see The Dark Knight! where I made a comment to the young gentleman selling me the ticket to which I was paying only$4.50 for "not only am I cheap but I am probably the only person in this town that has not seen this movie?" he replied "yes I think you are" and I am not sure if he meant the cheap part or the only one who has not poured 155 million more into this movie last weekend! I kindly chuckled but after the movie I thought about calling the Joker and putting a hit on his azz! If you have not seen the movie and you do not want to be sucked into another pathetic love story with a happy ending, then this is your movie don't say I didn't warn you though the tissue you would have brought to dry your eyes for the love story, you may need to keep to dry your seat cause a couple times you might need it.
Saturday I am more than happy to say I DID NOT DRIVE.ANYWHERE! I woke up at 6am and had to kick myself because I did not have a child who would be demanding breakfast or milk, although I do love waking up to Morgan on the weekends and snuggle in bed and in no hurry to get out the door. But my morning was more relaxed so I rolled back over to sleep and was surprised that I did not actually roll out of bed till almost 9am! SD had Morgan delivered home around 11am, which was perfect timing so I could do a little cleaning and have hot coffee before her arrival. Later in the afternoon, My sweet BFF&A along with her significant other(who will remain without an acronym until I come up with something witty) and happy child came to my house. Not only did Morgan and I enjoy the company but they brought food and beer, it was everything I dreamed a weekend day at home would be less the boyfriend I need to tuck me in at night(wink.wink) where are you my prince??
Sunday after church we figured we would travel to the ends of earth since we didn't drive on Saturday, we went to a place they call Turtle Cove(which is 65+ miles from home). My nephew Luke had been wanting to see Morgan and I could not resist saying no to him on the phone. So we drove for over an hour to soak in a pool with 4,000 other sweaty patrons which was fun for the kids until someone pooped in the pool. Yes I said POOPED in the pool! Of course they sent in the heavy hairy guy to scoop out the mess with a skimmer the only thing missing from a perfect picture taking opportunity was the camera, so thank God for that! We went to visit family I hardly ever see anymore while we were on that side of the world and invited ourselves to dinner where we dined on steak, hamburgers, sausage, and noodle roni, oh the cucumbers were good too.

How was your weekend?

Make up my mind already

2008-07-25T08:12:00.004-04:00

So it is Friday and I managed to get through another week of well motherhood, the job that is both fulfilling and exhausting at the same time. I have not had a "break" in a long time, and by that I mean an afternoon to myself without having to worry about when to shovel food into the mouth of an on the go toddler, making sure bath time cleans every crevice, and pulling off the ever so welcoming bedtime, just so I can put on a load of laundry without a red sock being tossed into the whites! SD decided he wanted to do some parenting today so he will be picking up Morgan from his mom and she will be spending the night at his house tonight, so far. After the chain of events that has happened in his life in the past six months that could all change, but saying it doesn't change. What should I do tonight??
It seems that all the friends I once ventured to dinner with or grabbed a drink with have all moved on to create these families and lives. No one jumps on a whim anymore everything needs to be carefully planned and significant others need to know when they will be home. So I am tinkering these ideas
a) going to dinner on my own and walking around an outdoor mall where I can glance at pretty things that I can't buy.
b) maybe a movie, not a love movie but perhaps Batman, maybe I can share my popcorn with the comic book geek who sits next to me.

c) talk a walk down to the river where speed boat novelist will be hootin and hollowin in their wife beater tank tops at the Riverfest.
d) stay home and open the bottle of Cabernet that has accumulated dust and dog hair from the wine rack and clean the sticky finger prints that have taken over the hallway.
e) suggest an alternative

If there is one thing you do today while you look busy at work consider making up my mind please. Ready GO!

Reward 1 M&M

2008-07-24T13:14:00.006-04:00

"Warning"
This post is not for everyone especially those who don't like to talk about bodily functions. Some of you may not find it as amusing as I do but this is my blog and I can talk shit if I want too.
This just in as of 1:10pm

Morgan's daycare provider called and the conversation went a little something like this;

D/C : "Michelle, Morgan has something to tell you, hold on..."

Me : "ok"

Morgan : "I POOpt da Potty"

Me : welling up with tears & pride "GOOD GIRL honey, great job"

D/C : "Morgan said she was pooping during her lunch so I took her to the potty seat, and the rest is history!" "Morgan you get an M&M, great job"

My girl who will be 21 months on Saturday POOPED on the BIG GIRL potty!! This job might be easier than I thought......but don't quote me on that.

What's for Lunch?

2008-07-22T11:56:00.005-04:00

Just finished lunch.....I went all out today and got Sweet & Sour Chicken from the local China King. As every good patron does after an overloaded calorie filled plate of mystery meat pieces of deep fried batter smothered in red tangy sauce I opened my fortune cookie.
If I didn't know better I think the damn cookie is mocking me;

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."

Let me tell ya, I try really hard, it is not easy being me!

Monday Meandering #8

2008-07-21T12:54:00.006-04:00

Here we go another Monday!

My sister and I have been catching up on rental movies. Movies that we always said we wanted to go see at the theater but never had the chance too. Since re-runs have taken over on Oprah and I am burned out on watching CSI(there is like 32 saved episodes in the Tivo) I wanted to change up my TV down time on movies without fast forwarding through the commericals. So in the past week we have strategically placed toothpicks in our eyelids and spent 2 hours in the basement watching movies after the baby goes to bed. I know all of the following movies have been out for awhile so try and take a trip back and humor me on your takes on;

PS I Love You - a love story that had me wondering do people really love each other like that? love letters from the grave and spending hours held up in your apartment with stale pizza and crusty Chinese food, cute but not really a movie to watch while still mending a broken heart.

27 Dresses - uh-huh always a bridesmaid and oh look she is finally a bride, sorry to spoil the ending if you haven't already seen it, but I didn't tell you WHO she marries

Enchanted - I am going to try and whistle a happy song the next time I clean my house perhaps the spiders and wasps will get off their asses and vacuum up the cob-webs and leftover corpse shells of insects past. Then of course the princess gets the prince in the end.

Juno - I never thought a teen pregnancy movie could be so funny. Although creepy at times Juno has a cool sense of humor and handles things well beyond her maturity level, as she states with rolling eyes.

Narnia - the witch, the lion, and the wardrobe - so cool! I have not been scared by a movie in a long time, by that I mean the hollow of the wind and the intense music with the surround sound rumble of animals coming to life, really had me jumping out of my seat.

Anonymous Stalker

2008-07-15T09:44:00.000-04:00

A few things get me kinda weird when writing in this blog. Perhaps you may feel the same or not depending on how you air out your dirty laundry on your own blog.
I would like to express my true feelings sometimes by using a few cuss words here and there. Then I get taken back and wonder if I offend anyone when doing so, I should not feel that way, this place is my freedom of speech, but I feel perplexed. If people get offended by my comments they really don't need to keep reading right?
Then there is the fact that I can't remember who I gave my blog info to and who might be reading it, so I have to repress talking about certain people or events that happen, for the sake of their own embarrassment. Being a good Christian I really shouldn't be talking about people anyway right?
Then there is the people that I don't even know who may stumble across this blog and stalk me. Why anyone would get that notion to stalk an old broad with who doesn't shave everyday is beyond me. Every once in awhile I get an anonymous comment in regards to my post on the day of my divorce. At first I thought it was just someone joking around with me so I just blew it off. But after the second time I was like huh, is this anonymous really serious?? Then the third time oh boy?? To clear the air Mr. Anonymous from somewhere not in America.....YES 13 is definitely to young and uh 14 does not make you older, and the reason you do not have back hair is because you are 14. Our love will not prevail under any circumstance, not even if I was one of those school teachers who date their students. I am sorry I will only be dating men in their 30's or 40's who have a little more experience in the relationship department, a drivers license, credit, a pot to piss in, and who live a little closer to my home. I do hope you understand where I am coming from, with your 14 years of wisdom I am sure you will move on. This is not the first heart break you will endure in your young life, perhaps you will have better luck finding a girl on myspace, facebook, or try the next high school dance. This just isn't the right time for you and I, farewell young lad. My patient heart waits for someone much older and maybe I should reconsider the extra hair?

Monday Meandering #7

2008-07-14T10:34:00.009-04:00

Hey so now that I hold myself accountable for a Monday Meandering I don't make it the rest the week what the??!!!
I really do need to consider getting the internet at home again it would make my posting around here so much easier. I have been extremely busy here at work or when I am not I am reading other blogs in blog world. Kinda like saying hey check out my scrapbook I am really good at it but OH see her scrapbook is so much nicer than mine I'll just spend time with the other scrapbook and get some ideas. Which brings me to the point so many other people out there are better than me at this thing.
Morgan and I had another great weekend together filled with plenty of play and little naptime, and in toddler world will cause mental break down and short fusing by 6pm on Sunday night.
Friday came with drama in the form of SD wanting to spend quality parenting time, so he picked up the baby from his Mom's Friday afternoon. So I made plans to get a haircut and do a little shopping, the plan was simple pick her up feed her dinner, go to park, go home and by that time I should be home, but he called four times during my haircut. One time to see if he should feed Morgan dinner or something because she said her tummy hurt around 6pm(I'm thinking yeha she ate lunch at noon). UGH! I try really hard to give him the benefit of the doubt but by next month Morgan will be illustrating a flow chart to properly take care of her. Seeing that SD has once again moved out of his place with his home wrecker friend he was not going to keep Morgan overnight. Instead he used my shower and said he had a long week and needed some down time in the form of getting wasted at boat night and sleeping at the rest area overnight. Some how he seems to think he overstayed his welcome under my roof and in alot of ways he is right.
Saturday my BFFA put together a great BBQ with lots of food and drink! Our friend from My Zoo came to Michigan for a visit. The rain held off so we could enjoy each others company outside and the kids could splash in the pool. Thanks BFFA and hubby for the hospitality, we enjoyed ourselves.
Sunday was the anniversary of my Papa's death 12 years ago. For the past 11 years I have taken my Gramma to church and the cemetery to put flowers on his grave. My Gramma has always ordered flowers for the alter and have Papa's name put in the Sunday flyer at church in his memory. This year was a little different Morgan and I went to church at KCC in the morning because Gramma did not want to attend church but opted just to get flowers and go to the cemetery. This worked out good because I was really starting to worry how Morgan would do in a traditional church where there is only a cry room or sit in the pew thrashing her tiny body around yelling "all DONE?". I didn't want to sit through the service and communion just to remove the flowers from the alter and go to visit Papa. When we got to the cemetery I realized it was the first time I had taken Morgan there. As we walked through other grave plots to get to Papa I swear I smelled his after shave and velamint candy just like yesterday. Morgan helped me arrange the flowers in the canister above Papa's grave and bent over to smell not only his arrangement but several others around us. I couldn't help but think how much Papa would have enjoyed her and called her stinky just like he used to me. Not to far away from Papa's grave is his parents so Gramma took Morgan by the hand and walked her over to show Morgan her great great grandparents. I had my Gramma's old 35mm camera and took the cutest photo of them walking hand and hand Morgan telling Gramma to hop, hop!
After our Gramma time we went to visit my nephew Luke and his parents. My sister in-law was having a garage sale so I kept her company and loaded my car up with childrens books I didn't pay for. Morgan was able to enjoy more pool time with her cousin where she bossed him around when he tried to play with his toys that she was not playing with. I really do need advice on the teaching a toddler how to share, because I don't think she gets it when she hoards all the toys and yells at everyone else to share! We enjoyed dinner then went home because the melt down of toddlerhood was riding the thin line of me holding my head under water or breaking open a bottle of wine but I choose to drive home and play the music really loud to drown out the yelling! Just kidding she was fast asleep in 5 minutes and stayed asleep until I woke her this morning.

Monday Meandering #6

2008-07-08T13:15:00.006-04:00

This Monday brought to you on a Tuesday because I took another day off work to sleep in and snuggle with my baby! I took one day off in the beginning and one in the end from work to have a longer weekend.
Where do I begin to tell you what a wonderful time I had on my mini-fiesta to celebrate my freedom as an American, which by the way is the reason I get to take a day off work and get paid, I hope you did too. I am not really into the rockets red glare as much as some people but like to watch from afar, and pray that I don't get dusted by the fall-out. Which sometimes makes me think I have past war regression from a past life, but I am crazy like that. I was going to take Morgan to see her first fireworks but decided her sleep and my sanity far out weighed the thrill she would get watching the glitter fall from the sky. So for Morgan there is always next year.
For me I had a chance to get away to see Diva at her parents house that isn't to far away from me. Friday night I took a drive to Capac, where there they really like the chance to blow things up in the form of fireworks, drink beer out of plastic glasses and use excuses like there was a mosquito on your face when you suddenly get bitch slapped! It was a fun time but much more relaxed from parties past with alot more children than I remember. The party also was on the heels of a somber morning Diva's Gramma who had always come to watch the fireworks had past away. I do recall the last bomb was followed by Diva's Mom yelling "that's for you MOM"! After the fireworks were over I finished my beer and managed to carry out a whole box of Crunch n'Munch for the drive home.
You probably are not going to believe me when I tell you Saturday I slept in until 8am! I never thought with having a child I would ever wake up on my own again, but it happened the first time in a long time. I laid there in bed listening to the humming of the box fan and cursing myself for not pulling the door shut before going to bed to block the sunlight from hitting my eyes. Then I heard Morgan wake, the cutest thing was when she was ready to get up I heard, "Mommie.........miss you, get up", what a great way to stumble out of bed. We spent most of our morning munching of cheerios, sippin juice, and watching Sesame Street. Later I invited myself to a 40th wedding anniversary for my friends parents, it was the most relaxed and organized party I have ever been to. You can see a picture of the happy couple here named Hon & Hon. I enjoyed hanging out chillin and being escorted by the finger of my daugther because she was nervous and didn't want to be left alone with so many strange kids at once. I guess it is a toddler faze one that reminds me every.single.second. that I have a miniature person relying on me to show her the way.
Sunday we started our day off at church, that was a refreshing reminder as well that the Lord still loves me even though I haven't been to see him in two weeks. I did manage to pick up the good book and read a few passages in Deuteronomy later that day to find a note for two little ladies who were getting baptised that afternoon. By going to church it prompted me to dust off my One Minute Bible while Morgan napped and wouldn't you know the page I left off last time was titled "Read the Good Book"! Sometimes things just come out to bite YA!
This is where I will leave you for now, I have to catch up on a thing called work. OH yeha I almost forgot................I DID NOT WIN THE Wii, my 5 in 42,232 odds did not pay off! So much for the shirtless man party unless there is one out there that wants to share his Wii!!

Win a Wii

2008-07-01T09:08:00.004-04:00

I came across a special offer I wanted to share with all of you. The only stipulation is if you win you must share the winnings with me and abide by the rules of Dooce.com
So go over and visit Heather and enter to win a Wii with Wii Fit. There may be a party with shirtless men at my house, SOON! or at least that is what I am praying for. Good Luck and hurry the offer ends tomorrow July 2.

Hi Heather if you happen to come by for a visit. I enjoy reading your blog and peeking at your daily pictures. I wish I had more to offer on your visit, but I know that you gave up coffee and I already ate all the chocolate. I'll try and stock up on more tequila for the next time.

This Just IN

2008-06-30T14:23:00.004-04:00

Two of the cutest kids brought to earth but I am bias.......Luke and Morgan at Luke's birthday party on June 21, 2008.
Tomorrow Luke turns 3!!

Monday Meandering #5

2008-06-30T11:40:00.003-04:00

Can you believe I have made it five weeks of meandering?? yeha me neither.

The wedding was really nice, my third cousin and his new bride got married in the courtyard and had the reception all at the hotel where we were staying. My brother, my sister in-law and nephew Luke all got a room together for the night. The hotel features a waterpark where the kids went to play while we enjoyed our meal with drinks at the reception. Remember my BFF&A I spoke about before well she came to the hotel and watched the kids while we partied like rock-stars down the hall! No you can not have my friend or borrow her she is all mine. My daughter was the first one to sleep by 9pm and did not wake up until 9am the next morning, she was partied out. Needless to say I did not get much sleep the room was spinning until about 3am and I woke at 7am thinking Morgan would be up any minute and never really fell back into a sleep. It is getting harder for me to recover from these events involving alcohol.
I know you are all wondering what the stats were on the single male front, let me just say there was a little dancing involved but no exchange of names or phone numbers. I was just happy to be hanging out with family to tell you the truth, we all were dressed to the 9's but still had potty mouths, some of us anyway I am more reserved in that area. There was a moment my brother felt it was time to get more Jack Daniels after the bar closed so he left the building on foot in search of a liquor store while me being the responsible big sister waited in the parking lot for his return, only to find out the liquor store also closed. THANK.GOD.
I have pictures I like to share but they haven't been downloaded yet I will try at a later time to humor you all a little more with my fake tan from a bottle and make you envious of the Jessica Simpson shoes I got for $10! Surprisingly they are very comfortable if your NOT dancing all.night.long.

All dressed up

2008-06-27T12:54:00.004-04:00

I am going to a wedding Saturday, not a big fancy schindig just a casual mild family gathering in a banquet hall with flowers, cake, and love bird songs filling the air. It just occured to me this is the first wedding I am attending since my divorce. I no longer have to make excuses as to why my husband is not there nor will anyone ask me where he is. In facted all the questions will be about my beautiful daughter which I am more than comfortable boasting about because she is awesome!
So yesterday I spent my afternoon in retail theraphy which is getting pretty expensive for me lately, trying the find a dress that fit my mood and chest. I picked out a traditional black number on my lunch break but decided to check another store on the way home. I found a sassy pink number, I know big suprise pink! that I liked so much more. Now if I could just find the right heals to go with the dress we'll be good.
I wondered while looking at myself when trying on the sassy pink number if there are ever any available men at these types of functions anymore? Does anyone ever really meet someone at a wedding or does it just happen in the movies? Either way I plan to look good trying to find out. Wish me luck!

Childs Play

2008-06-25T10:39:00.006-04:00

Yesterday Morgan and I were invited by the in-laws for dinner and to take a spin on their new golf cart. It was a nice change from the ordinary pick up the baby, drive home, cook dinner, play, bath, go to bed night we are used to. After the scenic ride on the golf cart the kids wanted to play in the basement where all the toys dwell and there is enough room to run around and be crazy in the furnished carpeted play area.
My five year old niece is at the age where she loves to make up silly songs while jumping rope and making funny faces. It got me thinking of the silly songs we made up as kids when we would grab a friend and slap each others hands in weird contortionist ways(you know what I am talking about). So I asked her if she knew the one about Miss Sue? I started to sing Miss Sue, Miss Sue, Miss Sue from Alabama sittin in her rocker eatin Betty Crocker, watchin the clock go tick tock.....then I got a brain fart and forgot the rest. I know there is one about an alligator purse and couldn't remember that one either. So when I got home I consulted my sister who is younger than me and I taught her how to sing some of the same songs. My sister told me it had nothing to do with Miss Sue it was Miss Lucy. I knocked myself up side the head because you know how old broads get when they don't take their medication....they jump rope like their five and sing;

Miss Lucy had a steam boat
The steamboat had a bell,(toot.toot.)
Miss Lucy went to heaven and the
Steamboat went to...

Hello operator
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I'll kick you right.....

Behind the 'fridgerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Lucy sat upon it
And broke her little........

Ask me no more questions
I'll tell you no more lies (and from here I know a different version, *see below)
The boys are in the bathroom
Pulling down their...

Flies are in the meadow
The bees are in the park
Miss Lucy and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the...

Dark is like a movie
A movie's like a show
A show is like a tv set
And that is all I know.

This and many more silly songs can be found here, HAVE FUN!

*Miss Lucy told me all about this the day before
she dyed her hair all purple
she dyed her hair all pink
she tried to dye it polka dot
and wash it down the ....

Sink me in the ocean,
sink me in the sea,
sink me in the toilet,
But please don't pee on ME!

Monday Meandering #4

2008-06-23T11:53:00.004-04:00

Friday night as much as I HATE to let my baby go to spend the night with her father, I found myself welcoming it after the week I had. As much as I LOVE my daughter I needed a break to re-set my mind and close my eyes, because if you have ever been with a 19 month old child you can-not leave your eyes off them for fear of what may be thrown at you or harm that they may cause to themselves. With the baby gone for the night my sister and I went to dinner at the local tavern for a burger but more importantly a beer! The rest of my night I spent at home making a taco salad and drinking more beer while talking with my new friend Sandra who stopped by to say Hello. Lucky for Sandra my sister was making cookies while I was browning hamburger and we all got to sample hot gooey cookies from the oven YUM!
Saturday Morgan returned home in time for a much needed bath and nap. While she slept I loaded up the truck to travel to the west-side for my nephew Luke's birthday party. I only wish the day was a little warmer so the kids could have played in the pool more but it was still a fun time. My nephew got a fancy Pontiac Solstice for his birthday, you should have seen Morgan's eyes when they pulled it out of the box. I think she was more excited than Luke was in fact I think she sat in it first. Forget college I have to save up for a Barbie Corvette for Morgan's second birthday, then perhaps she can take herself to daycare.
Sunday we opted to stay home to reorganize the playroom which took all day. In the end there is more room than before to play without sitting on top of each other. As I cleaned out the toy box I realized some of Morgan's favorite toys weren't so favorite anymore and she was to big for them. I said "to big" my little girl is growing so quickly before my eyes and there is nothing I can do to stop it. It was nice to have the day together and not have to go anywhere. We spent most of our time snacking, reading books, making animals with Play-doh, and vacuuming. The best afternoon I have spent in a long time.

Jealous or Jaded?

2008-06-18T15:00:00.005-04:00

Things have just been busy crazy at work for me and I haven't been able to get back to what I started. At this point I'm kinda like a bad girlfriend who keeps wearing the low cut shirt but is never gonna give it up until I want to, so consider this your lucky day!
Last Friday I had the afternoon to myself. SD decided he was gonna put in some parenting time and pick up my baby and bring her home after dinner and of course the park. I went to the Walmart for some retail theraphy and birthday gifts for upcoming events. Somehow I didn't think a 2 year old was going to understand the value of a $10 gas card folded between a white sheet of paper with Happy Birthday written on the front with a blunt red crayon. During my shopping trip I received a call from BTC. We have been talking off and on for about a week. So as not to distrub my shopping anymore I asked him if he wanted to come over and hang out at my house later. He obiliged and we decided we would talk more when he came over to my house. Mind you we are just friends and I have made that decision based on the fact that he is really not over his ex-girlfriend and I choose not to be a rebound, to which he is aware. He is looking for a womans perspective on things so we just chit chat, no harm, no foul, whatever not getting to excited that things will be moving forward anytime soon. Keep that in mind.
I guess it really didn't dawn on me until about 7pm that SD was to arrive with Morgan around 7:30-8pm, what is he gonna think when he drops the baby off and another man is here?? my mind bounced back and forth.. hehehe and this probably isn't a good idea. Around that time BTC got a phone call of the personal matter and he decided to take it outside in his truck. I would later find out it was his girlfriend, confused as to whether she wanted to be with BTC or continue dating a guy from her work. Oh I know sounds to close for comfort but I am just offering him support although at times it breaks open old wounds.
I went about vaccuming my house and picking things up before the baby got home. Just as I was vaccuming the bedroom I heard SD yelling my name, I come out of the room and he says I didn't want to take my shoes off and hands me the baby. The look on his face was one of confusion not knowing what to say I opened up and said "I bet your wondering what a man is doing in my driveway on his phone?"! He looks at me and says what truck? I didn't see no guy on the phone. I said OH you didn't see the truck next to your in the driveway. I'm thinking at this point he is having an out of body experience and I am thankful my daughter made it home. SD leaves without another word. BTC comes back in the house by this time the baby is in the tub. I ask him if SD made any kind of jesture that he was there and he said he waved to him with a crooked smile.
The rest of the night went good I put the baby to bed and BTC talked me into watching an episode of Family Guy(stupid show) only after I told him he was going to watch The Mole on Tivo. That was about all my body had enough time for by 11pm my week was full and told BTC he had to roll out.
Next day SD calls and is very short with me doesn't have much to comment, he had been fighting the last week with his homewrecker and up until Friday night he wanted to move on and find his own place to live. His own place that didn't require a year lease for the sake if we ever got back together he didn't want to be stuck in that lease for a year. Yeha that news struck me a little funny too because I thought we were divorced and I had no idea we were dating again.
By yesterday SD was over his state of confusion and called to tell me that he was concerned about me having a guy over the other night and not to sell myself short. He also told me I was worth more than just a one night stand. Not only is he dating me in his mind, he is also a friend giving me dating advice with other men. At what point do I call the in the clowns??

Monday Meandering #3

2008-06-16T10:43:00.004-04:00

This blog brought to you today on a mental scramble that is my brain busy with work so I will leave you with a list of reminders that I will elaborate on later. OOOHHHH kinda like a suspense horror movie with a happy romantic twist!(whatever that means) perhaps you can tell me what you would like to hear first......

1 - this story involves a pepper mill the gift that nobody seems to want
2 - what happens when SD drops off my baby to find a man sitting in his truck talking on his cell phone
3 - the bounce house with two pools, hot dogs and CAKE!
4 - livin la vita loca at work an audit, a test and two many meetings in one week

Now if you will excuse me I have to hold a meeting wearing my Lucky Charms t-shirt, once again not prepared for public speaking. I have such a glamourous life.

Mr. Golden Sun

2008-06-11T13:21:00.003-04:00

OOOOOOHHHH Man I just stepped out of the office to retrieve the mail, something I only do when the weather is not raining, snowing, or windy. Let me just tell you if ever there was a time I would want to crank the music with Duran Duran and slather myself with lotion today would be that day!! If you haven't felt the sun today I suggest you go do it right now!

New and Improved

2008-06-10T11:52:00.007-04:00

Morgan and I had our pictures taken together on the first of June by a photographer. I wanted to capture some pics of us together candidly and in a nice park setting. My photographer (who is also my realtor) suggested Heritage Park in Shelby Township, what a great choice. He said on some weekends people are lined up for wedding photos, I can understand why. So take a look around the place ooooooo-aaaaahhhh-hehehe we look pretty cute together don't you think? As much as I would love to show you all 93 pieces of photography I am limited on time and energy on a thing called work. Hope you enjoy the little taste of our fun filled day at the park.
At the top of the page yeha that is My Girl and Me, over there on the right is My Girl's true colors always playful sticking out her tongue but this one really got a chuckly out of me;

Then of course there is this flower picture that is priceless;
In this one we are pointing at the geese that came pretty close;
Beautiful scenery at this park with plenty of picture taking opportunity;

Monday Meandering #2

2008-06-09T12:01:00.007-04:00

It is the beginning of summer or so says mother nature and her bad hair days (aka wicked humidity). With the dog days of summer come birthdays in my family, that only explains their need to procreate in the fall when the weather turns cooler, a bit of information I am sure you didn't need to know about my family but it makes the plot more interesting. I was the only one lucky enough to have a winter birthday on New Year's Day none the less, which totally sucks but I think I told you that before. So the birthday celebrations begin this month and to ruin the surprise for everyone I am giving gas cards as gifts, but only in increments of $10 cause that is all I can afford for all ten of you. Unless you want to roll the dice and I could give scratch off tickets with a winner clause I get half of all winnings even the lousy $1 winners. I am looking forward to seeing family again next weekend and the weekend after that and after that and by July 1 I will have just about enough of all of you until next year. Of course I am only exaggerating, could someone pass me a beer?
I am in a funk of sorts being around family and relationships. I find myself envious in a way because I wish I had a man in my life. Some days I just feel spent and want to just rest my head for 30 minutes and not have to worry if a little someone is shoving a lego up the dogs nose or her own. Or I can take a trip to the grocery store without taking a list that gets chewed up while I reach for the last can of beans only to find out that it wasn't beans I needed but beets. I used to love spending an afternoon outdoors cleaning up the yard, but I have tried that and with a toddler who is obsessed with small rocks the yard work is a simple pull of a few weeds and we are off to play on the swings.
I am more than happy with the role of being Mother it is what I was made to do, but in my mind I envisioned a partner to share the burden of an extra kleenex in their pocket when mine had been fully spent. Lately I have been angry in quiet times that I have alone when in those times I should be praising God. I am grateful that my child and I are healthy are basic needs are met, some days we even have enough for ice cream. Then the quiet sets in with my pessimistic thoughts of how come, what if, and why not me come flooding in. My patience is running thin and the lump in my throat swells to remind me of the position I sit in, and without feeling sorry for myself I think of the opportunity I have been given, and who will be lucky enough to share my life. The mix of emotions play tug of war in my head I battle the pity and humble all at the same time. I am not the only boat upon this ocean I just wish the sea wasn't so damn BIG!