Mother

The other day while I was at the hair salon, getting my much needed shameful tongue lashing from my hairstylist as to why I wait so long to get my hair done pep talk. Todd took Morgan out to get my Mother's Day gift. She had been telling me all day long how it is a secret that she was going shopping with Todd to get me something. She also reminded me time and time again that I could not ask her what it was and would end the statement with "alright?" as if I didn't understand, that asking her would result in me not being surprised.
It amazes me as the peak age of four Morgan would have such a motherly personality. Not a day goes by that I hear myself coming out of her mouth. Phrases like "do you really think that is necessary?" "just so you know this is very delicate" or the "aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrhhhhhh" sound of frustration the sigh of anger! She is always reminding me that I should pick up clothes or wash my hands after going to the bathroom. What have I created??
Happy Mother's Day to all you moms who have the most adorable kid(s) like mine!

A year, really?

It has been quite sometime that I have even attempted to write here, writers block perhaps, or maybe no time. So much has happened in a year, new love, new house, new family, new car, my girl turning 4, wow I need to start writing these things down. Where should I begin how about here like now and then digress as I go, ready? ok here goes................
Currently A Mom and Her Girl is living with A Man and His Boy, oh I feel a title change coming on. We are all adjusting pretty fine, with the what I call normal transitions a blended family could expect I guess or at least what I call normal considering my upbringing. It is so different raising a child when you have a partner, something I am experiencing for the first time.
In a year it has taken me sometime to get used to the fact I have someone who is willing to take care of my girl while I am needing that Mommy down time. In the beginning I was apprehensive to say the least not wanting to take advantage of my new love, but he is more than happy to give up his time to spend time with my girl. They have a bond now one that I hope and know will only grow and I know he will be a great example of how a little girl should be loved.
We have been in our new place for over a year now and it still feels like a new place but with an old feel, it is comfort, it is where we hang our hat along with our clothes, shoes, toys, and stuff. Oh the stuff! It feels like I have been purging for a year with nothing to show but room for no more stuff!! Our home is where love resides with our stuff and that is all that matters to me, I can't imagine where I love to be more.
The wonderful man in my life has earned a nickname as Hot Toddie, or my Todder (as Morgan refers to him). Todd has brought more to my world than I ever thought or expected to have if I ever wished on the brightest star. Besides my lil' girl he brings me a feeling of "love" and self-worth. More on him later.
I guess you can say there is a new spark to start writing again, after a year hiatus this should make for some interesting reading to come.

Back on the Horse

I need to get back on track. The track I was on before I gained 20 pounds then got pregnant gained another 20 pounds, only to lose 20 then now really want to lose 15 or 20 more to be happy with myself. I can't seem to get back to that place where I would go to the gym, drink lots of water, so much water a fish would be jealous, and be able to walk stairs without being winded. I know I have a toddler and she keeps me busy believe me, but the energy at the end of my day is nill. How can I get back to the mind-set of feeling good about my body? I guess most of the time being a working mom I feel guilty putting aside the extra hour for me at the end of the day because I want to spend it with my daughter. I am not a real early riser so getting into a routine in the morning may not work, nor do I like the idea of working out at the end of the day after I put her to bed. So where do I begin, with what will-power can I give myself that will make me feel good about taking time to get in shape?

Since we last met... (wow that was a long time ago)

Moving on....I have to keep a positive attitude and remind myself that life as I know it is filled with the littlest blessings. The days when I am spent and at the end of my rope the need to vent off the hardest of times in words can be the best therapy for me. Thank you for the kind words and the continued safety net you people put up for me. You have to know I would do the same for you. This single mom journey is hard at times but is the most fulfilling, I am greatful whatever the day may bring.
The fall brings many things to my mind besides the bitter chilly mornings and early dark nights, it also marks many turning points in my life. It brings a time to reflect of how I got from there to here with a beautiful smart toddler calling me Mom. Morgan will be 3 in a few weeks, where has the time gone. It seems only yesterday the endless trips to the doctors offices trying to conceive for four long years, then bam here she is....then my heart exploded!! All those millions of pieces of my heart are being replaced with the laughter one little girl can make.
The dreams I had of being a family were the practical ones I guess, a family vision something different than my own upbringing. I can't remember ever having my parents living under one roof together. For now this family Morgan and Me is awesome and right now I wouldn't want it any other way!

This post was written some time ago back in the beginning of October, I felt it necessary to let you in on my thoughts before I let you know what has happened since. Little did I know where my life would turn, on that day, the same morning I was writing this entry and left it for future post. I had a lunch date with a friend and a co-worker of hers she thought I would like to meet. Keeping my expectations low and telling myself its just lunch made my world so much brighter than I ever thought it could be. I was happy for the most part not in a hurry to find someone to spend my spare time with after all I had a little girl fawning for much of my attention. But there at lunch across the table from me sat a man with a soul much different than I am used to.

The Number 3!!

Happy Birthday my sweet baby girl Morgan!! I know if you could read right now you would tell me I not a baby! I'm a big gurl! Yes you are big and I love you to the sun around the earth and moon!!

Big Girl Pants

Potty training SUCKS....the end.

Not sure what I was thinking would happen, maybe perhaps one day Morgan would get up and say well hey you know the diaper thing just not the way I roll anymore...how about I put on a pair of those cute mermaid panties and we can call it a day. Or we could just go down this long road of wearing pull-ups, convince me every time she will not pee in them until the next time she does. Then I cringe at the fact those pull-ups are a poor excuse for a big girl panty, not to mention sucking the budget down the drain. Who am I fooling it is pains takingly time consuming to get her little butt on the pot. Most signs point to the ready mark but then it points to all fail. As if the sleeping schedule and bottle feeding to holding a fork on her own the past two years wasn't enough now this!
The "big" girl stage has raged its' ugly head and is headed straight for me. My independent head strong little girl has now entered the "i do it myself" part of the game. From clothes to shoes I tread lightly very lightly, because I never know if it is my turn or hers. I will gladly take back the 2 year old stage cause I have a feeling 3 years is gonna be a bitch.

Note to Self

In a future life if such life exists, think wisely the next time you procreate. Make sure the man with whom you decide to spawn with does not think of only himself and his money. (For all I know there is not such man that would exist). But if there is let him show himself unto the rest of the world and prove to me the reason we need them in the first place.

If it wasn't for the sweet smile of an adorable toddler who loves me all the way up to the sun. I just don't know how I am going to make it through the next fifty years.

Robbery

I made another attempt to visit the Sears store yesterday after work. This time I called in reinforcements, my good friend and one of my birthing coaches Annettie. I figured if we could tag team the Tasmanian toddler I could find a dress and call it a day. To state for the record I don't normally shop at Sears but I had a gift card that was burning a hole in my already empty wallet and I needed a dress for a wedding this Friday.
We went to a mall that does not have the extra glitz of a two tiered carousel. Lucky for me there were racks upon racks of clearance dresses of all shapes and sizes. I loaded up my arms with a variety of black and white cocktail dresses then headed to the dressing room. All the while Morgan is walking under the rack of dresses claiming she was in the car wash. It drives me nuts when kids are wild in a department store, mine included! I am only beginning to understand why the mothers with the monster children are in the store in the first place. They are all single parents who have no time to themselves and have stuff that needs to be done, if they are anything like me the ears are all on what their child is doing while the eye contact is focused on the clothes rack and the little old lady across the aisle with her mouth agape.
Annette decides she will entertain my cute monstrosity on the escalator while I try on eight different styles of dresses. Just as I am trying on the final dress I hear my child yelling from outside "MOM" "I don't see you", that's the idea kid. Good thing this final dress was the one I choose to purchase because I could tell the crazy was about to unleash in the all ready rambunctious angel. I made my way back to the dress aisle to make a final sweep of choices, when what do my wandering eyes should appear....the shoes! The table a football field long of shoes! ALL.ON.SALE. in my hey day I had more shoes than Pravda(not really but I can dream). Of course a black sling back three inch heal caught my eye for $9.99. Not to forget the undergarments I went there too. By this time Morgan is full steam ahead running up and down the aisles. I remind her that the store is not the playground, but damn if I had the money I would invest in a non-destructible clothing store where children could run wild for a small fee. Imagine the fun the toddlers could have swinging from the round metal racks and wiping their nose against the bottoms of old dresses no-one will buy. The Mom's could all sit around drinking coffee and admire each others shoes!
I make my way to the checkout to notice a small display of accessories, pins, headbands, earrings and such, what the heck I will see how much this cute flower pin is too. As the young girl dressed much more fashionable than me behind the counter rings up my order she scans the tag of my dress already at a ridiculously low price of $24.99 she smiles and says $12.49, "WHA" no way I never get that lucky. My undergarments were also half price and my cute accessories tagged at $9.00 were 99 CENTS! Morgan then looks at me and before she could speak I "ssshhh" her and tell her "not now mommy is robbing Sears"! not really but the prices the cute checkout girl was given me were a STEAL! after I used my gift card of $30 out of pocket I paid $10.43. Gotta love the feeling of a great deal.
We left the store an outfit in hand with accessories and not one mention of a carousel ride! So I let Morgan buy a giant super-ball and throw it around the mall just to get her excitement out!

Should have saved for a meandering day

Things I have noticed this week......
- I am out of fashion! After spending and hour in the mall the other day, quickly browsing and listening to the meltdown of a toddler every time I entered a store that was not near the carousel or had some sort of child entertainment. I took a quick look at the young girls in the stores wearing what I did when I was 15, really with the skinny jeans and hi-tops. My hips would never get away with that look now a days. Then I took a glance in the mirror and thought oui what have I become. I have not shopped for myself in so long I don't even know where to begin putting pieces together for a new wardrobe(not that I could afford one right now). Still I can not focus, who brought that annoying beast of a child in this store who sounds like a broken record "I WANNA GO ON THE CAROUSEL" over and over again?? OH yeah that would be mine I recognize the blonde hair but not the face buried into the rug below the shiny ruffled tops.
- Enough with the roots already! My hair is in desperate need of scissors and bleach or some sort of hair color. Honestly I can not remember the last time I had it done. Last week I liked the longer look but today it's gotta go! If it wasn't for the grey throwing off the highlights my roots are a good two and a half inches long. Something has to be done before I pull a Britney!
- Life is short! I attended a funeral yesterday in support of a friend who lost her sister in-law to soon. The young mother of two(10yr & 3yr) was only 32 years old. As I sat and listened to the service I longed to run home and squeeze Morgan, knowing time is precious and we don't get to choose our time to leave we can only cherish the time we have.
- Five day work weeks are hard! This was the first full week of work since January. I go back to four days next week. As much as I miss the pay I enjoy the time with my baby (I mean big girl) more.
- Never take a potty training toddler out to dinner by yourself! I had a taste for a steak the other day, so I decided on the place with the peanuts. Thought it would be a nice distraction for a toddler to peel her own peanuts and teach her to throw the shells on the floor. My thought proved to be a 15 min time killer until she had to go PEE. We made our way to the public bathroom which I cringe because it is hard enough for me to hover over the seat let alone try to hold a squirming toddler. We made it out alive. Our dinner came and she had to PEE again. I assured our waitress we were not trying to dine and dash and not to clear our table, she just laughed. Two trips to the public bathroom, still alive. What a pain in the ass to have to carry your purse, secure your table and take a 10 minute potty break!

About Last Night

This may sound as if I don't love every minute I spend with my darling daughter. Let me assure you I would give my last dying breathe for that child of mine. There comes a time in a single parents life when holy begeezious you just need a break from the mundane routine of it all.

Last night my more than generous in-laws, who I never broke up with since the divorce, took Morgan for the night. I did not realize until I got home from a couple stores that I leisurely strolled through, stopping to smell new shoes and notice over priced sales tags. I got home sat on the couch flipped on the TV banned all shows that involve music and learning, switched to the free on demand movies. Made a trip to the bedroom to find my cozy pants, a comfortable pillow, and Breaking Dawn. Before I opened my dinner, a bag of White Castle. I called to check in on Morgan who had informed me that she had not cried about me and was running for the door to get her last ride on the golf cart for the night with her Grandpa. I proceeded to watch Made of Honor, which was a cute funny chic flick just perfect for my night alone! It was 6pm the night was young and I was on my couch eating food without worrying if anything would drop on the floor, not being beckoned to the play room to make supper, there was not one demand to turn on Dora and get another juice. There was only me, my remote, a book and the comfort of home.

Only thing was I had to take a Tylenol PM to get to sleep because I missed the little princess so much, my mind kept wondering if she was ok. I knew she was but my mothering instinct would not shut off, something tells me it never will. Once the sleep came I didn't know I really needed it until this morning when I woke to my alarm and felt refreshed for the day, rejuvenated to start over again. This parenting job is tough, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Like a Flick on the Head

There really is a million excuses why I don't update here on a regular basis, but rest assure I have every intention to do so in a minute. With today's technology of Facebook, DVR, and text messaging my world completely turns every so often I get hooked into one thing only then oh look something shiny...... my point I guess is I am not good a multi-tasking as I once thought I was. It could be an early sign of dementia or old age woman set in her ways only the ways change and I get over obsessed with the task at hand that I completely forget what I did yesterday. Good thing Morgan doesn't need a bottle anymore the kid would starve, how was it I remembered feeding schedules, bowel movements and bath time in the early parenting years? Just a short 24 months later I can't remember if I have given her the four basic food groups, or is it five. Can someone hand me a fresh pen and a stack of post-it notes.
Summer has been one fun filled weekend after another. Just when I thought I could rest and enjoy the day at home we get invited to another party, the zoo, a pool, or a lunch with friends. I can't say we don't do anything because we are always doing something. I looked at the calendar yesterday and wouldn't you know it August is here and almost over. As much as I would like to say bummer I am kinda glad we will be back in a routine. Not that we will be given up our social life but we will have to decline some of the endless road trips for a night on the couch to watch Dancing With the Stars.
Morgan has really enjoyed this summer, as did I. I didn't feel like a walking baby carrying machine that every five seconds was removing something from a baby's mouth or inserting something healthy in the baby's mouth. I wasn't the mom barrelling behind a small infant hell bent on smashing her face into sharp objects or falling into a hole. This summer I was the mom who could relax a bit tip back a couple beers, watch every ones reaction when my toddler did what toddlers do, jump off stairs, hang from whatever piece of furniture would hold her tiny frame, run while inevitably stubbing a toe. I know her limits and what she is capable of and was there to brush off the ultimate fail, all part of growing up. Morgan went from riding a tricycle in the beginning of June to a two wheeler (with training wheels) by July.
Not sure where the time has gone if I stop and try to think about it I can't remember. It really does go by so fast, so fast that it makes me look at my girl with amazement the vocabulary that falls out of her mouth down to her actions on her face all photographed in my mind because there is no camera fast enough to take these pictures.

This too shall pass

Yesterday evening I had a night to myself a whole four hours before bed to chill. After no potential dates with men willing to swoon over me with large amounts of adult beverages and or sushi. I planned to sit at home with a beer to chill and do what ever I wanted. That's just what I did after making the quickest trip to Meijer ever, returned bottles, grab an iced tea, cashed out my $7, headed to the gas station to put my last $7 for the week in the tank to get to work in the morning, all this and not a single child asked me to ride the electric pony or buy a frozen coke.
Funny thing is one would think with four hours there is alot you could do, paint toe nails, write a post on the blog, catch a movie, read a book, do house work, etc., etc. So what I did is plant my butt in front of the computer and download and upload pictures I have been meaning to for the last year with a beer, that translates into absolutely NOTHING. Then when my sister came home the only light was the one shining from the computer monitor. She asked me how long I had been parked in that position, I gave her a death look stare and told her the "SSSSHHH" for the last three hours there has been nothing but the occasional blower of the a/c humming in the basement and I had forgotten what that sound was like. She then walked around the house turning on lights, starting laundry, folding clothes, putting away dishes, and cussing as if no one does anything around the house. I then mentioned my toilet was plugged up and asked if she could take care of it, which sent her in a search, the same search I had taken a few hours before, for a plunger we no longer owned. As of right now the toilet is still yelling for a plunger which I have remind my sister to pick up on the way home.
My day at work has been the longest ever and if I didn't need to pay my bills so bad I would pack it up and grab my baby, go home and do something productive. Get this weekend started cause I need a nap.

Mothering Instinct

My cold has almost subsided if you don't listen to me talk, cough, or walk for that matter you would never know I still had mucus filled in left side of my head. If I move to quickly my equilibrium is thrown off and even a two year old can knock me on my ass. Last night I thought after I put Morgan down to sleep I could take the NyQuil my sister had hidden under her bed and get a good nights rest. Only when I put Morgan down for the night (and what I thought was asleep) she feels the need to get up and roam the house until she finds me so she can intertwine her limbs around my neck and spine. This is nice for about fifteen minutes until she falls asleep again leaving me with ten inches of a queen size bed and hanging on the edge so as not to fall to my death in my sleep. Then starts the pins and needle feeling in the right side of my body because the leg I have positioned to hold me and a 28 pound child up for the night is about to give way from the loss of blood supply.
Before you judge me on the sleeping habits, I know me the parent, has created let's take a look at what I would miss if I don't give myself the opportunity to lay down with my child for the night.....
My daughter has an array of stuffed toys, a few play coins, a couple animal figurines, a favorite blanket, and a hand full of "yellow" balls that accompany her in the big girl bed every night. There is an inventory taken almost every night to make sure she isn't missing anyone, by that I mean fellow stuffed toys named George in three different sizes, and then she takes the time to put everyone on their bellies to sleep. Then she will turn to me and say "see you in the morning". Cute, no? Most nights it is others not so much. Like the nights she will rearrange for more than ten minutes and I ended up getting knocked in the head with a baton that somehow appears from under the covers, then I usually throw my hands in the air while yelling "abort""abort" I am going to my own bed "PEACE OUT"!
The nights I love the most are the "Mom, I Love You" nights where Morgan will remind me of how much she loves me, and I can hear myself through her mouth when she whispers "your my favorite" and she closes her eyes and drifts asleep, and the smells of her hair below my nose makes me stay in the comfort of her choke hold and I can't imagine a better place to be.
I realize I am missing out on many prime time television shows or movies and the time to myself that I need to unwind, update this blog, paint my toe nails, take a hot bubble bath, write a thank you note, start a new addiction like twitter or hey here's one I haven't done in awhile read a book! These things I am taking away from myself to invest in a nurturing environment to share with my one and only child.

So I'm a Slacker

I think of this blog each and every day I honestly do, but the man been putting the axe down at work since we are slow like everyone else and I have been makin myself busy earning my keep. Because it has been so slow at work I decided to take a vacation. Yes a vacation like away from the city, away from the menotiny of life. In fact I am pulling all stops and previous plans to hitch a ride with my Auntie to the northern part of Michigan they call Indian River tomorrow, to a place we in the family call the cottage. I want to apologize in advance to anyone who may have expected me to be at their party and partaking in the consumption of beer and food. Opportunity to travel without making a five hour trip alone with a toddler who at some point will become irratiable or irrational blurting GET ME OUT at some point makes my vacation seem more like vacation rather than me jumping in the lake or off a bridge by the time we get there. Not to mention the savings in gas and quality time spent talking about the wonderful drinks we will prepare once we are on the dock sunbathing.

I can't remember the last time I made it to the cottage for family time but I am looking forward to it. Morgan has never been to the cottage, or out on a pontoon ride, or to Spanky's for ice cream. That is what I am most looking forward to, new memories and experiences my girl will grow to know.

UP North here we come!!

Oh and a couple of pictures of Morgan enjoying the fireworks last weekend in The Clem, in case you forgot how cute she is, she loved every minute.

Top of the Morning

I have decided to keep eating baby carrots, with my wicked eye sight I can stare the cancer away....great advice Diva! I can sleep better tonight.
Speaking of sleep last night for six hours I slept in my own bed by myself without the comfort of a foot in my back or a finger up my nose. Although today is overcast my body feels rested and ready to work right after I finish my coffee.
On the way to work I nearly hit a man riding a bike on a semi-urban road. I was getting ready to turn right and was waiting for traffic to clear on my left as I stopped at a red light, when I went to proceed HELLO there he was man on bike right in front of me!! Who in the world rides there bike for exercise at 6:50AM?? He was kind enough to yell Good Morning and not some profane choice of words as I nearly creamed his ass to the curb.
So far it seems my troubles of yesterday just needed a good rest, thank goodness I ate those carrots for lunch.

One Hot Bath and a Beer Stat!

This may come as a surprise to some of you but I can become irritable and cranky!! Today is one of those days. I am fed up and at the end of my rope, hands in the air, walk away, count to ten, don't look at me that way.
Things like the annoying glob of mucus that has been in my throat for over a week have contributed to this persistent thermostat that is ready to explode! Given the fact I have not slept a full night in over a week could be a factor. A 36 inch blonde hair blue eyed toddler who looks innocent enough has refused to sleep in her own bed the last four nights. The same toddler who is mocking the same cold symptoms I have and whines enough for the both of us.
At work I have an annoying employee who doesn't remember what he did ten days ago important information I need to process invoicing, same employee has been hanging out in the office looking at the same job tickets for an hour, and now can't remember his name. Being particular of the way I file, the job tickets the shuffling of paper in the next room is enough to make my eye start to twitch.
Oh look a text message from SD, his doctor thinks he may have a bleeding ulcer. Moving on.
My daycare provider has warned me about baby cut carrots and the fact they use chlorine to wash the little buggers thus may cause cancer. Snopes tells me part true and false but can not completely define the answer. Your not going to guess what I have in my lunch, oh you did guess a bag of baby carrots.
Ok I have to stop typing my left shoulder is feeling a little heavy it could be the devil and who knows what he has up his sleeve.

My head hurts

I woke up this morning with a pounding headache and gasping for breath because the mutated snot bug had taken over all parts of my upper respiratory, making it difficult to breath through my mouth or nose. I lay in bed trying to gain enough strength to get up to take a hot shower. Morgan had crawled into my bed at God knows when hour and had entwined her limbs around my neck and hair so every time I tried to move her body she would show signs of waking. If I wanted to get into the shower long enough to clear my head I had to remove her methodically so she stayed asleep. Then that attempt was a total FAIL. I eventually got her on the couch with a cold cup of milk to watch the four thousandth episode of Dora.
We eventually made it out of the house moving ever so slowly and forgetting where I put things and went back and forth in my mind should I stay home or go to work. Since money is tight work won. Morgan is spending the day with SD which is good for me because I am forcing him to keep her longer than the work day so I can go home to put on laundry and nap. Nap may just trump laundry cause laundry is a bitch and it never ends.
This next part I have to tell you about is not for the animal sensitive heart. I pulled into work this morning and not one but two black kittens had been run over and left for dead in our parking lot at work. I am only guessing that the guys from next door and their work trucks are to blame because they have nearly run me down and haven't thought twice about it. Poor kittens didn't have a chance.
Now if you will excuse me I have to go take more drugs to help relieve the pain behind my eyes. I hope there isn't a waiting period to buy more OTC drugs. A few months ago when I purchased a decongestant the pharmacy took a copy of my ID and threatened to take my first born if I tried to sell it to the teenager waiting outside?! What is this world coming to takes only a hand full of people to ruin it for all of us.

Benders are not for single parents of small children

It has taken me this long to regain consciousness of my life after spending most of my time with a cocktail in my hand since late Friday night. I guess you could say this is your run down of my Memorial Day weekend festivities. WOO-WHO good times!
Morgan went to spend some time with her Dad on Friday night while I prepared for my house warming party. I took a trip to the Meijer purchased large amounts of adult beverages and calorie fat filled snacks in anticipation of many friends coming by to say hello. I like parties just not at my house the preparation and worry if there is enough food, pop, mustard, and toilet paper kills me. After the fruit was cut up and the house vacuumed I got a phone call from SD in a panic that Morgan would not stop crying for me. She wanted her Mommie and who could blame her. It took the last bit of energy I had to hold myself back from getting in the car to save her from nothing but a sleep deprived day. SD agreed that if she wasn't asleep soon that I could expect a knock on the door with a note attached to one pissed off toddler demanding her mother never subject her to more than 10 hours with her father again. Which did not happen but I prepared for it and drank a couple beers to take the edge off.
Saturday went really well I had early visitors(Pankiewicz) that failed to recognize the time the party started but we welcomed them any way. They helped prepare the veggie tray and there was a last run to the store for some condensed milk. Thanks! Morgan got home in time for a bath and nap before party time. Mostly family showed up which meant I started drinking early to take the edge off, and when only three of my friends showed up it meant I drank 85 oz of the 96 oz bucket of margarita that had been chilled in the freezer since Thursday. There was 3ft of the 6ft sub leftover and 45 of the 48 cans of beer. As my brother and sister in law left I loaded their car with the extras for my sister in laws birthday party that would happen the next day on Sunday afternoon.
My sister in laws party was alot of fun. I talked(bribed her with a bag of suckers)Morgan into going with my Aunt for the night so I could relax and finish the 45 cans of beer. We played cards and I won a few bucks, did a few shots, and stayed up to late. What makes me think I am immune to the aftermath of to much alcohol and a good time I will never know.
The next morning I failed miserably to any responsibilities of being a parent and didn't call to check on my girl until 10:02am. At that time she had transformed into wanting her Momma into not wanting to go home because of all the activities and sugary snacks thrown at her in such a short span of time. The home where she had been staying did not require shoes or clothing except for a diaper and it had a slip and slide!! My house pails in comparison.
The weekend was perfect despite the less than desirable crowd to my open house. We couldn't have asked for better weather or more food and drink. The laughs were many! and the time to relax in our cozy clothes after it was all said and done is priceless.

Love is...

Nothing says love quite like a 96 ounce bucket of Margarita Mix found on your front porch with four fun tumblers ready to be filled!!! K I love you, too.

Party starts in two days if your in the area stop on by.

No Whining

How can a word be so pleasant and ear numbing at the same time??? When I typed this title I thought of wine as in the liquid sense but to whine as in the pain in the ass sound a toddler makes has a totally different meaning one bitter and sweet, the other bitter and relaxing, but same side effects both leave you looking for the Tylenol because ai-ya-ya-i my head is killing me. Not so different??? Am I just rambling or is this making sense?
The other day marked my first day of literally locking myself into the bathroom to apply my make-up so as not to have a toddler pulling on my pant leg begging to hold her for no apparent reason just cause I want you. Yeah well I want you too but I want you to go play with the millions of toys that are collecting dust in the 300 sq foot toy room built just for you. Take that! the door will not open until your full out I WANT YOU tantrum turns into a whimper of "I not crying no more", cause who can resist a small child fully spent with tears, sweaty from the adrenaline rush to the quiver of the bottom lip "I sorry" face.??
Morgan and I have come to the point in our relationship where we have same views at different times. There is no compromise unless I feel the need to give in for the sake of wanting to reach into the cupboard drawer and pull out the duck tape or NyQuil. But I love her ALOT and would give anything for her happiness.
Oh the joys of child rearing no one can quite prepare you for it, you can read all the self-help books in the library but until you are standing in it you can't quite grasp the concept it holds.
I wonder being in a two parent home is it easier or harder??
Most days I am good with my decision making skills others I totally suck and I have no one to blame but myself. For the most part I try to reason with my two and a half year old which most times are Fail.....(but she said she understood so why is she doing it Ahhhhgain.) There are times at the end of a day I am just spent, worn out from explaining myself for the millionth time that day. I can't just hand over the responsibility hop in the car and race to the nearest Target for retail therapy. Six out of seven days a week it is just me and not to sound like I am tooting my own horn, night and day carrying the trials and tribulations of raising a tiny human and working full-time. When 10 o'clock rolls around you put your feet on the coffee table you have told your little one to stop standing on, banging on, hanging on all day, to be asleep before the opening credits of a prime-time show. Then I stop and think if I had a partner to tag team it would be so much more fun, but would it feel as rewarding? I do get breaks, over night stays when my daughter goes with her father or family but over indulging in that break causes chaos the next day if your not careful. Tending to a toddler on a hangover without support makes for a very.long.day. trust me on this one and you won't read that in any parenting book!
I am waiting for the day when my daughter turns to me to say Mom how did you ever do it?? Damn you were so good! and to leave me screaming outside that bathroom door for a whole two minutes has really made a difference in my life. I am not always going to get my way but to know you are there to comfort me when the frustration is over is worth more than any comfort of a bottle of wine.