Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween

What are you going to be this Halloween???
I am going to be the girl who dropped the curling iron on her face, what do you think?

No for real I am going to be in costume for most of the week. Today looks even worse than it does in this picture taken on Monday. People react so strange they don't want to say anything but they stare and look away when I make eye contact. I can only imagine what people are thinking. If they stare to long I just say "you should see the other girl, beaotch got what she deserved!"

Friday, October 26, 2007

BIG ONE

Morgan 2 hours old

My Angel Baby is ONE today!
Happy Birthday to the most beautiful piece of heaven on earth!
I love you more than words can ever say.

Morgan 11 months


Thursday, October 25, 2007

Lady in waiting

Time goes by so quickly, but the memory seems like only yesterday. I anxiously awaited the arrive of my beautiful baby, I say baby because I am one of the few people these days that did not want to know the gender of the bundle I was carrying. I can remember Lucky coming over to my house and taking some pictures of my expanded figure. At the time I felt just over served on a bag of oreos and wondered how I was ever going to fit back into anything in my closet. Although I did not gain as much as some it still felt like alot. I am glad we took the time to take these photos because I can look at them today and think how blessed I am to have had the opportunity to carry a baby. A baby that took 4 years of infertility to conceive, a baby I thought I never would have had, but my time had come.
36 weeks had passed since conceiving and in just 14 more days I would give birth to the most beautiful slice of life, a baby Girl...Morgan My Angel.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Thawing out......

Sorry to leave you all hanging on a cliff for my dear life, and wow the response is overwhelming from all of you. I do appreaciate your concerns and take them all with the greatest respect. Last week was just very overwhelming for me and I didn't know how to put it in to prespective. Let me try and put it the best way I can. DO NOT think I am getting back with SD(sperm donor).
The past year and a half has been very tough for me. My DD keeps me focused and reminds me that SD was not here when we needed him the most. It will take alot more than him saying he wants to be a good father and giving me money before I will even slightly consider him back into my heart. But the obvious is that he is in my life and will be for at least the next 18 and more years.
I want to assure all of you that I am still focused on building myself and my life with DD first. Although the papers have not been signed to legally seperate myself from SD, my mind has been seperated. I have not forgiven SD enough to expect a new relationship with him. But I am thinking of DD when I consider letting him move back home. It would have to be based on the understanding of a friendship without benefits. He will have to re-build trust and reliability and I have told him this MANY times. Obviously he knows that all ties will be severed with the home-wrecker and I would not allow him back if there was any indications she was still around.
I guess I don't have much more to say at this point but wanted to fill all of you in. I have to keep my mind on other things right now because it is really out of my hands.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Brain Freeze

As I sat and pondered what I might write about today I kept getting these uncontrollable twitches in my eye, then my hands would cramp and the mind would wander. I have no idea what to concentrate on first so I will make this moment brief so as not to exhaust your mind in trying to figure out just what I am trying to say.......

SD wants to move back home.

In the meantime let's look at some precious pictures of the most beautiful 17 pounds of love that could fit inside a porcelain sink!!!
And share an animal cracker with a kitty cat................
And find places all over the house to have night night........

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Checking IN

Wow has it really been that long since we talked?? Well I did take a vacation from work for a whole week and that means I had no access to the Internet, even if I did I needed a vacation from that too. I never realized how much of a time killer this handy piece of technology can be. Seriously I didn't miss it all that much to tell you the truth, even if I felt kind of out of touch and un-informed I didn't lose sleep over it. I am guessing when my daughter grows up she will beg to differ because all young people these days spend less time walking to their friends house or picking up a land line to call a friend. It is much easier to use technology to find someone via instant message or e-mail, and catch up on life through a blog.
My vacation did not take us anywhere special, it was just nice to wake up in the morning and stay in our pajamas until whenever and go where we wanted without a schedule. We went to the cider mill when it was 95 degrees out and a trip to the cider mill in that temperature is insane! The cider doesn't taste the same and neither does a warm donut. The weather did end up changing within a couple days to 50 degrees and we decided to visit family across town. It was nice to take a trip in the middle of the week and spend time with family we only see on special occasions. We went to the mall with my best friend and her son who is two weeks younger than Morgan. We planned a trip to the zoo but were bummed to find it was cold and raining, so the mall was just as nice and we got to spend sometime together. To sum up the vacation it was some much needed time to un-wind from life's busy and mundane schedule and live it a little differently. I even got a chance to see a grown up movie with my sister while Morgan got to spend time with her cousins and grandparents.
So I am going to try and download some pics for your viewing pleasure, which I will have time to do tonight. So stay tuned!

P.S. I know I am behind on the 10 & 11 month update, sorry I dropped the ball in that department. Man this updating thing is tough!! I know I beat myself up to much who is counting??