Some Kind of Wonderful

Tonight I was overcome by the Mother I have become. In just two plus years I have raised this tiny person of whom I would give my last breath. Everyday it amazes me the knowledge Morgan has already absorbed yet is never full. She can show many emotions and understands if I am sad and knows how to replenish my joy. My daughter is a never ending gift of love, full of the strongest hugs, and the sweetest voice as I lay her to sleep she can instantly melt my heart, when she tells me goodnight Mom. Before bed she asks me to sing her a lullaby, a familiar song that I have sang to her since she was born and the only song that would calm her on long car rides.

Tonight I held my baby girl a little longer than usual rocking her and listening to her breathe upon my chest. I thanked God for giving me this opportunity to raise a gift only He could have brought to this earth. It is a blessing to have a warm house, with basic necessities, and more than what we really need. He has given me the arms to warp around this little one that will one day over fill. Thank you for giving me the extra time tonight to hold Morgan peacefully and reflect on the blessings in my life.

Tonight I had a overwhelming feeling of peace that I am going to be ok, we are going to be ok. I am not alone because as I held my baby girl I felt a warmth around me of His presence. In my heart the relationships of family and friends that have grown out of my experience into single Motherhood that continue to grow.

Tonight instead of feeling alone I feel more collective.

Monday Meandering #21

There is this fine line of a talking toddler who understands what you are saying and talking toddler who is selective in what you are trying to say. Lately Morgan has become this tiny human who understands she is whining like a baby who needs juuuice momma juuuuciy momma in the Mickey Mouse cup with the blue top not the cute Minnie Mouse cup with the pink top. Perhaps maybe my respond time is on a different timer than hers, no wait it is on a different timer mine works at a 36 yr old level hers is 2.6 yr old level much faster. I find myself telling her just a minute alot to which she will repeat her request but only at an irritating higher pitch whine than before. In my mind my voice turns to her to say "There is no Mommie only Zuul"! and she is content to wait until Mommie has a second because whoa that is a wicked voice and you just grew horns. But that doesn't really happen so as calm as I can be, I look her in the face to reply until you ask like a big girl who doesn't whine you will get your juice and use the majic words. Then she gets this little curled bottom lip thing going and says please and clearly announces what she wanted in the first place. Then blame it on my eagerness to please I frantically search the house for the Mickey Mouse cup with the blue lid so the child will remain calm. Up until she wants a snack of dried pasta noodles not the bow tie the elbows, in a red cup! ugh. I know this stage will too be short lived just like the first 6 months without sleep, both make a mothers mind think things you never did before, like locking yourself in the closet. The next phase which WAIT don't tell me I want to be totally surprised, that and I don't have the time to look up tricks to tame a chimpanzee.

Moving day is only 20 short days away and I am no closer to packing than I was last Monday and I am not the least bit worried about it. I am sitting here looking at a pile of toys and mindless clutter of an address book that has more pieces of paper sticking out of it than pages in the actual book, I blame that on my family upbringing, my Grandmother has an industrial sized rubber band keeping her address book together. And that is just on my desktop! However I do have more than a dozen boxes packed sitting in my kitchen with what else kitchen stuff ready to go. I do plan to get more done tomorrow when the sun returns, the gloom of the day really makes me lazy.

I am still off on Mondays from work, my paycheck reflects the crappy end of it, while the sleeping in and not having to deal with the manic Mondays is the joyful side. I am still hoping to get back to a full work week sooner than later. I may just be packing up the truck and knocking on the door at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave and checking into a room there. Then will see how quickly the stimulus package gets this economy moving after listening to my girl all day ask for more juice!

The mind of My two year old

It perplexes me yet it is so simple the minds of babes. In conversation over a sippy cup of milk this morning while laying in bed, me trying to determine what turtleneck I was going to squeeze my freezing body into, and listening to the dog BARK. Morgan looked at me as I sighed in discuss to the barking, always barking, barking at we don't know what DOG.
me - *hard sigh* why dog, what can you possibly be barking at it is 5:30 in the morning!
morgan - Cujo barking
me - yeah baby she is, what do you think she is barking at?
morgan - the water
me - your probably right, does that make her crazy?
morgan - makes Mommy crazy